


The Sweetest Dreams are my Dreams of You

by WintersScribe



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Canon-Typical Violence, Multi, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tranquilizer Drugs, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3710224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WintersScribe/pseuds/WintersScribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis has always known that her horrific nightmares were tied to her Soulmate and his foreboding words that trailed down her back. For as long as she can remember she's known he needed her help; now she just has to figure out how to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adjusting to Life's Twists and Turns

Darcy Lewis sat outside in the New Mexico sun, shivering despite the sweltering heat. She’d come outside to try and chase away the echos of her nightmare, and record it in her dream journal. She’d started it at the prompting of the child psychologist her parents had taken her to see after she’d woken up screaming about the bad people taking her arm. Her parents had been at a loss trying to figure out why she had such frequent nightmares. Even the psychologist hadn’t been able to figure them out, but she had been able to help Darcy figure out how to cope with them.

Sounds coming from Jane’s lab made her look up. She’d left the scientist crashed on a chair last night. Darcy figured she would have just hurt them both trying to get the extremely drunk scientist to bed. Drunk Jane was surprisingly fun, a nice change from the snappy and exasperated Jane that she’d known for the past two weeks. Darcy couldn’t blame her though, its gotta suck when the only applicant is someone who doesn’t even understand half of what your talking about.

She got up and went into the kitchen, deciding to make breakfast for the two of them. Jane stumbled into the room bleary eye and rubbing her forehead while she groaned. “ Why? Why did I drink that much?”

“If I had a dime for every time I said that... Well, actually I’d barely have $2.” Darcy quipped.

Jane glared at her weakly, but stopped when she saw the water and pills Darcy was holding out to her. She took them both and collapsed into the nearest chair.

“Give me a minute and I’ll whip you up some breakfast. I may not be able to Science! but I can make a mean omelet.” She smiled brightly and turned to start cooking. “You need fuel for your rants against Science! Bigots.”

“Urg...” Jane’s head hit the table.

“Hey, I gotta admit that I was impressed with your ability to give a statistical breakdown of misogynistic prejudices in STEM fields, despite being so drunk you couldn’t stop slurring your words together. Also hooray for creative nicknames! I have no idea who ‘that miserable pile of irreconcilable data and faulty equipment’ is, but your hatred of them shines bright and clear.”

Jane chuckled. “Thanks. He was an old professor, not worth dwelling on. And, if I remember correctly, which, granted I was very, very drunk; you had more than a few things to add.”

“Hello, feminist Poli-Sci student. I’ve had to defend many a view point to crusty male professors.”

Jane smiled into her drink. “I hear you.”

Darcy let Jane nurse her hangover while she finished their breakfast. Her fingers were crossed that Boss Lady decided today was a good day for a break from science. She wasn’t quite ready to give up this feeling of camaraderie, but she knew it would vanish the minute Jane had a reason to bemoan Darcy’s lack of physics knowledge.

“So, why political science?” Jane asked out of the blue, a few minutes after Darcy plopped a plate of eggs and hash-browns in front of her. “I just realized, I never really asked you.” She looked a little sheepish.

“No big, its only been a couple weeks, and you were in hardcore Science! mode.” She smiled at Jane from her seat across the table. “Anyway, my Soulmark is in Russian, so I figured I’d look into any careers that might help me rub shoulders with a Russian.” She caught Jane’s skeptical look. “Not that I let that totally rule my decision, but when you have no clue what you want to do with your life, it seemed like as good a place to start as any. With how argumentative I am, and my people skills, my guidance councilor recommended I look into it. I still don’t really know for sure what I want to do, I’m kinda aiming at the International Relations route, but well... Too bad there isn’t a job titled ‘opinionated girl who just wants to make the world a less shitty place’. I’d be all over that.”

Jane chuckled. “Hopefully you wouldn’t be the only one applying.”

“Yeah. So, what about you, huh? You always know you wanted to chase the stars?”

“Pretty much. Ever since I can remember I’ve loved space. My dad bought me my first telescope when I was 10. We used to sit up for hours looking at the stars. I guess that’s what happens when you learn to read from your dad’s old physics textbooks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Dad’s a bit eccentric, and mom wasn’t in the picture when I was young. We have a great relationship now, though. Her and dad weren’t Soulmates. They weren’t even really in a relationship. Mom left town not too long after I was born, once it was clear dad could take care of me. She kept in touch, sent postcards and letters. Around the time I turned 15 she reached out, and we started trying to build a more ‘normal’ relationship. But, honestly, I never really minded.”

“Huh, that’s pretty cool. Sometimes I forget not everyone has as many problems with their parents as I do.”

“You have problems with yours?”

“It’s not that big a deal, we just don’t see eye to eye on some pretty significant things. I figure they’ll come around eventually, but until then it’s just irritating.”

“Parents can be, but they’re parents. Most just want their kids to settle down and be happy with their Soulmates. Sometimes they just get a little pushy.”

“I wish.” Darcy snorted. Jane raised an eye brow and she continued, “My parents are the leaders of our town’s chapter of the National Anti-Soulmark Association.”

“Oh...” Jane looked surprised, and a bit awkward. 

“Yep. They don’t quite agree with my determination to meet my Soulmate. I had to do a lot of finagling with my college classes. Downfall of your parents being rich enough to send you to college; sometimes they decide they get to tell you what to do with your life. ‘Course they seem to have forgotten they raised a rebellious little shit, and I’ve managed to come up with ways to get what I want without upsetting them. It helps that I really do want to do something meaningful, so I don’t clash too much with them.”

“Huh, well... that sucks.”

“Yeah. And that’s all for the TMI section of today’s chat. Sorry if I made things weird.”

“No, its okay. If we’re gonna be tripping over each other for the next few months, we should get to know each other a little better. I’m actually thinking of taking the day off; hungover science is just painful. If you want, maybe we could spend the day together? I mean, you don’t have to, obviously it wouldn’t be a requirement for your internship. But if you’re up for it, I’d like to make up for how rude I was the past couple weeks.” 

“Sounds fun, though you know you totally don’t have to make up for anything. I mean, sure, you can get a bit snippy, but I know I’m not exactly the ideal intern for an astrophysicist.”

“Still, I should act a little more grateful, its not your fault you were the only applicant.” Jane huffed. “You know what, I’m not gonna dwell on it right now. I’m going to go shower, hopefully that will make me feel more human.” She stood up and put her dishes in the sink.

Darcy watched her leave the room and sighed. She was glad Jane had let her change the subject. Hopefully spending time with Jane would get her mind off her Soulmark and her parents. She hadn’t been entirely forthcoming about the whole situation, and a part of her felt guilty for letting Jane think her parents were terrible people so opposed to Soulmates that they made their daughter miserable. But the truth, well the truth was something a lot more difficult to discuss. She’d been doing conversational acrobatics for over a decade to avoid the all too common Soulmark discussion. Most people loved to talk about their Mark or their Mate, comparing Marks and swapping stories. Darcy wasn’t so open about her Mark, or her complicated and personal relationship with it.  
She loved her mark, and had always wanted to meet the person her words belonged to. Her parents had been so supportive about that for the first decade of her life. Everything changed on her 10th birthday. Her parents had taken eager little Darcy to the complementary translation meeting, and to date it was her most vivid memory.

XXXXXXXX

The beige building was as ordinary looking as the others in the brand new strip center, but to 10 year old Darcy it was the most intimidating place she’d ever seen. 

“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want. You can change your mind.” Her mom couldn’t quite keep the eagerness out of her voice. Sarah Lewis had never liked the ‘Institution of Soulmarks’ and had always been vocal about it.

“Yeah Pumpkin, we can do this later, or not at all. It’s your choice.” Her dad’s voice was gentler, steady and encouraging. Jonathan Lewis wasn’t nearly as opposed to Soulmarks as his wife, and had never hesitated to talk about the faded gray mark on his left forearm. His blessed love story may have ended in tragedy, but he encouraged Darcy to embrace her Soulmate if it would make her happy. 

Little Darcy squared her shoulders, stuck out her tiny chin, took a deep breath, and strutted to the door. Her feet stomped on the white cement until she reached the door, yanking it open with all the force her little body could muster. She heard her father stifle a laugh as the door almost knocked her off balance. She blushed a deep red, but didn’t look back as she stepped into the brightly colored lobby.

“...answers that.” Her dad finished as he walked in behind her, still chuckling at his little girl’s fierce attitude. Her mom had a pinched smile on her face as she settled uneasily in one of the blue chairs. Darcy ignored them both as she strode up to the counter.

“Hello miss, how can I help you?” The blond woman behind the counter asked, smiling brightly.

Darcy bit her lip, suddenly feeling shy. She felt her dad come up behind her though, and before he could say anything she blurted out, “Darcy Lewis, I’m here for my Soulmate!” She blushed again at her little mistake as her dad barked a laugh and the woman giggled.

“Well Miss Lewis, I don’t think we have your Soulmate for you, but we might be able to put you on the right track to finding him.”

She got serious as she handed Darcy’s dad the paperwork he needed to fill out. She came out from around the counter and crouched so she could look Darcy in the eye. “My name is Connie. Now I need to make sure you understand a few things. I’m sure your mom and dad already explained them, but I need to go over them again, okay?”

Darcy nodded, biting her lip again.

“Your mark is in a writing style called Cyrillic. We’ve already established that from the photo your parents sent in. Now we’ve brought in an expert on languages that use Cyrillic, but it’s possible she might not be able to read your mark. Cyrillic is a widely used alphabet and Dr. Johnson doesn’t know all the languages that use it - that would be impossible. I need you to understand that even if she can’t read your mark you shouldn’t loose hope of finding your Soulmate.”

Darcy nodded slowly. She already knew this might not work out, but she was hopping desperately that it would. It was hard being one of the only kids left in her grade that didn’t understand their own Soulmark. She’d come home crying the day some high school students had come to translate kids’ Soulmarks as part of their graduation project. She needed to understand her Soulmark. How could she help her Soulmate if she couldn’t even understand their first words to her?

“Don’t worry sweetie, I’m sure Dr. Johnson will be able to translate your mark. I just need you to be prepared.” Connie smiled brightly and reached out to pat Darcy on her shoulder. “Now go sit down while your daddy fills out paperwork and I’ll let you know when we’re ready for you.”

Darcy sat down beside her mother, still chewing on her lip.

“You shouldn’t do that Darcy-Lou, you’re gonna make your lip bleed.” her mother admonished, nudging her shoulder gently. 

Darcy pouted and crossed her arms for a moment, before looking up nervously. “I really want to know what it says.”

“I know you do sweetheart, but its not the end of the world if they can’t tell you.”

“They need me mom. I know they do. I can feel it.” she whispered quietly.

Her mother sighed,”Honey, we’ve talked about this. I know you feel like they need you, but you don’t know that. Your dreams aren’t real sweetie pie, and they’re not connected to your Soulmark. Your councilor told you that. And even if they do need you, it’s not your responsibility to help them. You don’t have to help someone just because they’re your Soulmate. And I know a lot of kids get their Soulmarks translated when they’re 10, but that’s just because it’s free on your 10th birthday. It’s not a big deal if you have to wait to figure it out. Speaking of birthdays, whether or not your Soulmark is translated, we’re gonna go home and have a big old party. There’s ice cream, and cake, and presents. Grandma and Grandpa Lewis flew in from Florida, and your friend Jasmine just got back from vacation. You’re gonna have an awesome birthday, Soulmark or no.

Darcy was grinning ear to ear by the time her mom was done talking. The reminder of the great party she had planned momentarily drove away her nerves.

“Miss Lewis, we’re ready for you.” Connie called a few minutes later.

Darcy looked up at her mother, who smiled tightly, stood, and held her hand out to Darcy. She bounced out of her chair and took her mom’s hand, nerves gone, excitement rushing through her tiny body. Everything was going to be okay, she just knew it.

Darcy all but dragged her mother behind her as she was lead into a huge office. Tall bookshelves lined the room, filled floor to ceiling with dictionaries in many languages to help translators. Several books were piled on a small table sitting in the middle of a bunch of comfy looking chairs. Darcy sat quickly in the smallest chair while her parents sat on the larger chairs framing it. Darcy was dying to pick up one of the books, which were stamped on the front with the same strange letters that trailed down her spine. She reached out to pick one up, but her father laid his hand on her arm. 

“Now I know you’re excited, but you can’t forget your manners. Those aren’t yours. You can’t touch them without permission.” His voice was stern but gentle and Darcy put her hand back into her lap. 

“That’s alright. I’ve seen many eager little children page through my books. Hopefully with their help we can tell you what your mark says.” Dr. Johnson was a tall, dark skinned woman with her hair tightly braided and pulled up into a bun. Her parents stood up and shook her hand before the three of them settled in.

“Now, I’ve got the images you sent in, but to be sure I’ve got the correct translation, I may need to see the actual mark. Will that be an issue?”

“No, it’s on her back, down her spine. There shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Good. It may take me a little while, please try to be patient. Feel free to look through any of the books.” She went quiet as she looked at the images.

Darcy looked through the books for a while, fascinated by the beautiful writing. She didn’t get many chances to see the mark on her back, unless she twisted herself around while looking in the mirror. The books were far too advanced for her age, and she started asking her parents to help her with unfamiliar words. There were a lot, and her parents started to grow agitated with her after a while. Darcy huffed and looked over at Dr. Johnson trying to translate her Mark. She started to get nervous when she saw the Doctor’s wrinkled brow. was her Mark too difficult? What if she couldn’t even figure out what language the writing was in? Darcy needed to know her Soulmark, but what if she had to wait?

“Can I see the original Mark please?” Dr. Johnson’s voice was odd as she asked. Darcy turned and pulled up her shirt to show the Doctor.

“Is there something wrong?” Her father asked, voice laced with concern.

“I think I know what the Mark says, but I want to be sure before I say anything...”

“Why? We won’t fault you if you’re wrong.” her mom’s voice was strained. 

“Well, its... it sounds a bit alarming. Of course we have no idea what situation the words are spoken in. For all we know its a quote from one of those depressing Russian novels.

“What does it say?” Darcy was startled by how sharp her father’s voice was. She’d never heard it like that and it frightened her. She pulled her shirt down and turned around.

“I believe it says, ‘You saved my soul and I set the hounds of hell on your heels.’” Dr. Johnson’s voice was strained as she delivered the news.

Her mother shot out of her chair. “We’re leaving. Now.” She stormed out of the room.

Darcy looked up at her dad who was radiating anger and worry. He grabbed Darcy’s hand, muttering a terse thank you through clenched teeth as he dragged Darcy out of the room.

The car ride home was silent and stifling. Darcy tried not to cry as she thought of her words and her parents’ reaction. What was supposed to be a happy day had quickly turned into a nightmare, and Darcy had way too much experience with nightmares. Her mother had said, “I told you this was a bad idea.” as she got in the car. Her father had remained silent. Apart from briefly reassuring Darcy they weren’t mad at her, he didn’t say a word. Darcy didn’t say it, but she thought it was worse that they were mad at her Soulmate. They’d never even met him, but they already hated him based on a few words taken out of context. Except, Darcy was sure they weren’t. She’d always felt like her Soulmate needed her help, and that they were somehow tied to her nightmares. Everyone around her tried to convince her otherwise, but she knew better. Now she had proof, though she didn’t think anyone, especially her parents, would be willing to admit it.

XXXXXXXX

Her parents had changed after that. They became determined that Darcy would never meet her Soulmate if they could help it. They’d discouraged her every time she mentioned meeting him, and started scowling any time she said anything about Soulmates. They grounded her for six months after she got into a shouting match with her father about his Soulmate. He had always said he never regretted meeting her, even though she’d been terminally ill and died less than a month later. She’d screamed about ‘how could he discourage her from meeting her Soulmate based on a few words’ and how ‘you always told me it was my choice to meet them’. Nothing helped. Her once close relationship with her parents became strained and difficult. Darcy had finally pretended that she agreed with them just so that they would stop lecturing her. There was less yelling, but there was still too much tension, and Darcy started avoiding them as much as possible just to get away from it.

College had helped, giving her a distance from them that she had needed desperately. Still, they’d used the fact that they were paying for it to get what they wanted. They’d forbidden her to take Russian Language, screaming at her for even signing up for the class. It didn’t do them any good; she may have dropped the class, but she’d explained her problem to the professor and she had introduced Darcy to the tutors and assured her that her door was always open if she needed any help. 

Her internship with Jane had been one of the few things that they hadn’t fought over. Apparently they thought New Mexico was a great place to keep Darcy out of trouble, and would satisfy her wanderlust enough that she wouldn’t book a plane ticket to Moscow. They were right on one account...

Things between Darcy and Jane improved rapidly after they spent a whole day not Scienceing (YEs Boss Lady, it’s totally a word, I’m making it one!). Jane was determined to be more patient with Darcy, and made an effort to explain things to her. She quickly found that it helped her through some of her snags, and Darcy’s viewpoint was surprisingly helpful, if lacking in technical support. They had settled into an (almost) easy friendship, with Darcy pestering the woman to eat actual healthy meals at least 3 nights a week, and Jane not letting her procrastinate on important things like reapplying for financial aid and enrolling in next year’s classes. When Erik Selvig joined them, Darcy backed Jane up when he put on his doubting face, and Jane didn’t let him rant about political science not being a real science. They settled into a normal everyday routine and everything went smoothly for awhile. 

Then Thor arrived. Or more accurately, Thor crashed into their lives in an epic shitstorm of crazy. Jane was pretty irritated at Darcy tazing her Soulmate, but then again, she did hit him with her car, twice, so Darcy told her she didn’t really have a leg to stand on. They privately freaked out a little about the possibility that Jane’s Soulmate was an alien, or a god. Either was freak-out worthy. Jane showed her the ‘oh no this is Earth, isn't it’ on her stomach and Darcy just laughed. Jane glared at her and asked her how to explain it to him when he clearly hadn't realized she was his Soulmate. Darcy just shrugged awkwardly. 

Darcy didn’t get a lot of one on one time with tall, blond, and built, but she did manage to snag an early morning conversation. She approached Thor cautiously. Not that she was afraid of him, but she’d tazed the guy; most people really didn’t get along with her after she did that. Though if the smile on his face when he saw her was anything to go by, he didn’t have a problem. “Hey, Thor, got a minute?”

“Yes Lady Darcy?”

“I have a question, I mean, I don’t know if you can answer it, and it’s totally cool if you can’t, but, um,” Shit she was rambling, and surprisingly nervous about asking the more than likely crazy guy a question she didn’t know if she wanted answered.

“I will answer if I can, but I can make no promises.” He looked like he wasn’t used to feeling like he didn’t know all the answers.

Darcy took a deep breath, “So here, um, on Earth, there’s kind of this old myth, and it’s not really limited to one culture. Its one of those myths that are found everywhere, which makes me think it might be true, but everybody calls me crazy when I talk about it...” She hesitated, once again struck by the fear that he’d think she was crazy too. She didn’t know how she’d take it if the guy claiming to be the Norse god of thunder thought she was crazy. She bit her lip and glanced away.

Thor must have understood her concern because he stood and placed an enormous hand on her shoulder. “ Milady, I do not know everything. Even if I know nothing of this so called myth, it does not mean it holds no truth. I would not do you the disservice of calling you ‘crazy’” His voice was gentle and earnest, giving her the courage to continue.

“The myth says that in really rare cases, some Soulmates are so connected that they can dream each others dreams...”

Thor smiled brightly, “Fortunately that which you ask is known to me, and is no myth. It is indeed very rare, even more so for it to be recognized, as few dream such intense dreams, and those that do oft mistake them for their own.”

“Seriously! It’s real? I knew it!” Darcy jumped up and punched the air in her excitement. 

Thor laughed brightly, “May I assume that you and your Soulmate are so blessed?”

His words slammed into her gut like a fist punch. She’d been so thrilled to have vindication that she forgot for a moment what it meant. Her nightmares were her Soulmates. She sucked in a shaky breath, suddenly trying not to cry.

“What troubles you?” Thor’s face was grim as he took in her change in demeanor.

“All my life, as long as I can remember, I've had these terrifying nightmares. No one could explain it, but... I knew, I knew they were his dreams. I could never shake the feeling that he needed me, that I had to help him somehow. Everyone tried to tell me that it wasn't possible, but I knew it had to be true. But knowing it is... If those are his dreams, what’s his life like? I can’t imagine what hell he’s living in to make him have the nightmares he does. No one listens to me, I don’t know how to help him, how to save him. I have to help him, but I don’t know how, I can’t... I “ She burst into tears and Thor pulled her close, letting her sob on his shoulder. 

After a few minutes he spoke, “Milady, ‘tis a heavy burden you bear, but you need not bear it alone. I swear I will do everything in my power to help you save your other half.” 

Darcy pulled back, “Seriously? You really mean it?”

“On my Honor, I swear it.” 

“Thank you so much!” Darcy squeezed him tight for a moment then let him go. Thor smiled at her, then went to help Jane cook breakfast for everyone once he was sure she was done crying.

Not an hour later the warriors three stopped by and told Thor his brother was Fucking Shit Up. Darcy was pretty amazed by the awesome display of power. Seriously, the guy made a tornado and beat an indestructible robot. Any doubts she had about her dreams were blown away (Ha, see what she did there?). Jane even got to kiss him goodbye. She still didn't know if he knew they were Soulmates, but she figured they’d talk it out when he returned for her. (Seriously Darcy, how is this our lives?) Jane went into crazy Science! mode and Darcy was right there with her. The sooner Thor came back, the sooner she could help her Soulmate, and she thought he’d waited long enough for help.


	2. Spysassins Galore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing Thor on the TV, both Jane and Darcy have begun to think Thor's forgotten his promises to them. Darcy is struggling to keep a positive attitude with her dreams worsening, but maybe help is on the way.

Her breath fogged in front of her as she ran, her feet tripping in the sand. Behind her she could hear explosions and gunshots. She tripped and fell, her scream ripped out of her as she flew through the air. She glimpsed a train above her, beyond it the sky torn open as aliens flew through the opening. A voice in her ear whispered, “You’ve helped shape the century.” She aimed her gun at a little girl with red hair. She screamed as she pulled the trigger, the little girls blood covering the snow her, brown hair fanned out around her like a halo and something inside him was breaking, crying out why, why, why did you make me do this. He fell to his knees on the snow as he let out a scream that left his throat raw.

*I BELIEVE THE WORLD IS BURNING TO THE GROUND OH WELL LETS SEE HOW FAR WE’VE COME*

Darcy bolted up in bed scrambling to turn off her alarm. She sat in the darkness shaking and sobbing. Her mouth tasted like copper, making her gag as she thought about the little girl from her dream. She scrambled to the bathroom down the hall, relieved when she made it in time to throw up in the toilet. She crouched in front of the toilet for awhile, until she was sure she wouldn’t throw up any more. Gingerly she stood and brushed her teeth, hopping into the shower afterward to calm her nerves.

Darcy toweled off and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked rough. This dream was the latest in a string that had left her sleep deprived. She was used to it after years of nightmares, but knowing they were her Soulmate's dreams, and that he needed her and she couldn’t save him was starting to wear her down.

Taking a deep breath, Darcy shoved her dream away. Jane had been in a funk ever since Thor came and left Earth without any word to them. Sometimes Darcy wondered if Jane had even noticed that Aliens had invaded New York and the rest of the world had joined them in Freaking Out. Even Science! wasn’t enough to get Jane out of her funk. If Darcy had any hope of cheering her up, she had to be Happy! and Chipper! Darcy, not depressed, anxious, sleep deprived Darcy.

She headed down to the lab where Jane was busy looking at data she had bullied Shield into sending to her after New York. Neither of them were stupid enough to think Jane’s hounding had actually worked. Still, even though Shield had only sent them some of the less important data to analyze while their experts worked on the really confusing stuff, it was enough to push Jane’s research forward. Darcy settled down at her computer where she was supposed to analyze some of the raw data and flag anything particularly juicy for immediate review. Her head throbbed lightly at the thought of staring at the computer screen for hours. She winced and turned the brightness down on the monitor, but knew it wouldn’t help, she was bound to have a nasty migraine at the end of the day.

The two worked in silence for a few hours before Darcy looked up, realizing that Jane had stopped really working and had started just staring at the computer screen. It was hardly the first time it had happened, but this didn’t look like Jane’s ‘The data doesn’t make sense’ face. The look on her face was heartrendingly sad. Darcy stood and retrieved a blanket from the closet before walking over to her friend. She draped the blanket around her shoulders and gave Jane a reassuring squeeze from behind. Jane sighed and pulled the blanket tighter. 

“If it wasn’t so cold, and if I had any idea how to get some, I’d say this was a time for Ben & Jerry’s.” Darcy said softly, smiling when it got an amused huff from Jane.

“Maybe some hot chocolate.” Jane said just as quietly. “I think I’m done for now, I can’t handle this, it just makes me think of him.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed again. “It might be different if I could publish this, but even if I make a groundbreaking discovery, chances are Shield will just cover it up. I don’t want to give it up completely, but I need... I need some time. And to get out of this damn cold.”

“Hey, take a break before you make any major life decisions here. I know it looks crappy right now, but things might look up if you come at it with fresh eyes in a couple hours/days. If not, then we figure out what to do.”

“You’re right. I’ll regroup and reanalyze in a few days. Right now, hot chocolate, and crappy sci-fi. Wanna join me?”

“Hells yeah, nothing is funnier than you picking apart movie science. Ooh, we can make a pillow fort!” She turned her best puppy dog eyes on Jane, bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

Bingo, Jane started laughing at how ridiculous she was being. This was exactly what they both needed to get their minds off any Soulmate troubles. 

XXXXXX

Hours later Darcy stumbled into her tiny room, yawning widely. Her head was pounding so she didn’t bother turning on the light. That made it all the more terrifying when she realized she wasn’t alone. There was a woman sitting on her bed, sitting ramrod strait in the darkness. Darcy squeaked and started backing up, wishing she had her tazer on her. Unfortunately it was in the bedside right next to the stranger. 

“I’m not here to hurt you. I apologize if I startled you, but it’s important to keep my presence here quiet. I don’t want to draw any attention to you and Doctor Foster.” The woman stood as she spoke.

“Ok-ay, thank you? Um..” Darcy fumbled behind her for the light switch, still debating whether or not to call for help. In the light the woman somehow looked familiar, but Darcy couldn’t place her.

“My name is Natasha Romanov.” No wonder she looked familiar. There weren’t many good quality images of her, but as the only female avenger her image had been paraded everywhere. “Thor asked me to see you, and convey his regrets he wouldn’t be able to help you search for your Soulmate right now.” Her voice was business like, but not nearly as cold as Darcy had expected from an assassin. Then again, she hadn’t exactly met many assassins.

Darcy blinked rapidly willing her eyes not to tear up as Natasha’s words registered.`. She forced her voice past the lump in her throat and hoped she didn’t sound as close to a breakdown as she felt. “Um. Thanks, I mean I kinda figured when he got his powers and his throne back he’d be too busy anyway.” She chuckled weakly, and added “Dreamy Space Princes definitely have better things to do than help interns find wayward Soulmates.” (Was there any chance she didn’t sound as bitter as she felt? No? Really? Couldn’t the universe cut her a little slack?)

Natasha raised a ridiculously perfect eyebrow. “I don’t think Thor views it that way. He wants to help you, unfortunately Loki’s recent mischief has caused chaos that may take significant time to repair.”

“Oh...” Darcy closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath as she fought back tears. Her head pounded, reminding her of her migraine. She was just so tired. She couldn’t deal with this right now, not today, not after she’d spent the day trying to distract Jane from Thor, not after that horrific nightmare she had this morning. God how could she have been so stupid. How many times since Thor had left had she told herself not to count on his help. How could she be so stupid as to let herself hope? She could feel her heart sink down to her stomach as she thought about what a millenia old being would consider a significant amount of time. Thor might very well intend to keep his word, both to her and Jane. But what were the chances that he would come back to fulfill his promise and find nothing but their crumbling graves. 

Struck by that thought she stopped trying to hold back her tears, wondering how long Jane would wait for a Soulmate that could never be with her. She curled into herself, sinking to the floor as her thoughts started crashing together faster than she could process them. They flew between aliens, the terror of the destroyer attack, Jane’s depression over Thor’s departure, and above all the desperate mantra of _hold on, hold on_. She didn’t know if she was pleading for herself or her Soulmate as she let herself crumble.

She didn’t know how long she cried, but finally she wore herself out. Her sobs subsided and she just rested her forehead on her knees, just breathing in and out as numbness spread through her body. Tomorrow she would decide what to do, tomorrow she would find a way to fight the helplessness, but tonight she was too damn tired.

A touch on her hands made her head bolt up in surprise. She blinked away her tears to look into the Black Widow’s surprisingly gentle face. She had almost forgotten the other woman’s presence in her breakdown, but she would have assumed that she left at Darcy’s rather pathetic display.

“Are you finished?” Natasha asked her, voice soft. She still held Darcy’s hand.

“Uh, yeah,” Darcy winced at how hoarse she sounded. She cleared her throat and tried again, “ I’m sorry, I, um yeah.” he trailed off, her face heating in embarrassment. (Seriously, the floor could swallow her any moment now.)

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve been holding that in for a long time. It needed out. You’ve been too busy taking care of others and have forgotten to take care of yourself.” She smiled and helped Darcy to her feet. “Thor explained your situation to me because he thought I might be able to help. I have a talent for getting information. I don’t want to give you false hope; I might not be able to do anything to help you.”

Darcy stared at her for a moment before her words sank in. “You’ll help me find him?” She couldn’t keep hope from seeping into her voice. (Seriously, didn’t she learn her lesson the first time?)

“I can try, that’s all I promise. First I need to know more about them. Thor only said that you think he’s being tortured, and that you share his dreams.”

“Yeah, I do, um, hold on a sec, I’ve got a book.” She turned towards the nightstand and fished her journal out. It was a large brown leather book, worn with age and use. It wasn’t the first book she’d used to record her dreams, but she’d transferred over anything remotely useful from the others so she wouldn’t have to lug them around when traveling. Darcy thought a moment, then pulled out another spiral notebook, one she’d kept since New Mexico to record her theories. 

“I’ve never shown these to anyone.” Darcy whispered, clutching the books tightly. “My parents asked to see a couple times, and my therapist tried to get me to share, but... even before I found that myth I knew somehow that they were his dreams, his horrors. He didn’t choose to share them with me, I don’t have the right to share them with anyone else... but if they can save him? I don’t know what the right answer is. I don’t know if there is one.”

Natasha was looking at her with something that looked a lot like respect. Darcy wasn’t exactly used to being on the receiving end of that look. After a moment of silence she spoke, “I would not want my nightmares shown idly to anyone, and I would never be able to trust anyone who threw my secrets around so casually. That’s not what you’re doing. You have safe guarded his secrets your whole life, even against authority, despite having no guarantee they were real. Your respect for his privacy is admirable. It may turn out that I have no reason to invade it. The best place to start is a description of him, I might be able to use that to locate him without going into the content of his dreams.”

“I don’t really have a reliable description of him. Most of the dreams are disjointed images and snippets of events. Some of them are really odd, and hard to follow. Those dreams kind of come in, I don’t know, bursts? Like there will be a string of them for a few weeks, maybe a month or two at most. The rest of the time its just... cold, like every time I go to sleep I’m slipping into ice.” She shuddered just thinking about the bone deep chill that permeated most of her dreams. She took a deep breath and continued. “The only thing that might set him apart is his arm, but I don’t know if it’s real, cuz ya know, dreams, but its almost always the same.”

“His arm?” There was an odd note in Natasha’s voice.

“Yeah, his left arm. Its silver, and I think it’s made of metal.”

“Боже мой” Natasha abruptly stood and stalked toward the little window by Darcy’s bed.

Darcy started backpedaling, not wanting her Soulmate’s only hope to think she was crazy. The shrillness of her voice probably didn’t help her case for sanity as she babbled, “Like I said, I don’t know if its real, I mean it moves just like a normal arm, it always has, so it can’t possibly be real, heck it might just be part of his uniform!”

“Its not.” Natasha spoke quietly, her words ice cold. Darcy shivered, frightened of the woman in front of her. Natasha turned back to her, face stern and grave. She studied Darcy intently, a spider sizing up a fly. Darcy felt exposed, like Natasha was picking her apart piece by piece and deciding whether she was worth something. She was caught in a web, one wrong move and the Widow would kill her.

She almost jumped out of her skin when Natasha finally spoke. “I know him. You might not want to.” Somehow Darcy got the feeling she meant more than just his identity.

Darcy looked at her, the tension clear in every line of her body. She forced herself to look the Black Widow in the eyes. This woman,who fought aliens and gods alongside the Hulk and Thor, was tense at the mere thought of whoever her Soulmate was. Darcy looked into her eyes, thought about her Soulmate, and made the only decision she could. “I need to know. I have to try and save him.”

Natasha kept her eyes locked with Darcy’s. She must have seen the determination in them, because she continued. “They call him the Winter Soldier. He’s credited with over a dozen assassinations in the last fifty years. They use a system of torture, brainwashing, and drugs to keep him under their control, and when his mission is complete, they cryogenically freeze him until his services are required. He is a dog on a leash to them, one they must keep under strict control.

Darcy shuddered violently, finally looking away from Natasha and toward the floor. 

“Finding him will not be easy. If they get even the slightest hint someone knows their location they will transport him. Worse, they will not rest until they know why someone is looking for him. You will have to be very careful. An asset’s Soulmate is a powerful tool, especially against an asset like the Winter Soldier - one who has been known to break his programming and cause problems. They will seek to break him by making him kill you, perhaps even torture you. If they find you, your life will become a living hell; if you survive long. Do you understand?”

Darcy was shaking uncontrollably, horrified at the implications, but she managed to stutter out a breathless, “Yes”

“Do you still want me to search for him, or would you rather forget?”

“No!” Darcy forced herself to meet Natasha’s eyes again, though she was still shaking. “I won’t lie, I’m freaking terrified, but that doesn’t, can’t, matter. If you can find him, save him, then please do it. I mean, be careful, I don’t want to end up... like that, but I’ve always had an idea. I mean hell, his first words say he put the hounds of hell on my heels, maybe he’s wrong, maybe I put them there myself.”

Natasha studied her silently, but Darcy stood her ground. She smiled softly. “You truly care about him, don’t you малютка?”

Darcy’s eyes widened at the endearment, “Yeah, I do. I mean, it seems ridiculous, I’ve never met him, I didn’t even have any reason to believe the dreams were real until Thor confirmed it. Even if I had known for sure they don’t tell me that much about him, nothing except he’s lived an extremely fucked up life, and he’s in so much Pain. Its not a lot to go on, but I can’t help it. I’m not in love with him- I’m not that far gone, but it tares me apart knowing how much pain he’s in. Its so much worse now that I know it’s real, that he’s suffering and I can’t stop it. I just want him to be safe.”

Natasha took her hand, surprisingly gentle. “I can make no promises. Even if I find him, he may be too far gone to save. But I will try.”

“That’s all I can ask. Thank you.” She tried to make her voice sound as grateful as she felt, but it was impossible.

Natasha smiled at her. “You are very brave малютка. You will need to be. Even if we find him, being the Winter Soldier’s Soulmate will not be easy. They will not stop trying to get him back, and he may never recover from what they did to him. If we find him, I will help you as much as I can. You will need support. You cannot continue to ignore your own needs, it will break you.”

Darcy sniffled, “I’m not that brave. Half the reason I focus on Jane so much is because it’s easier than to think about my problems. Easier to be okay for someone else than it is for me. Is there such a thing as being selfishly selfless?”

Natasha chuckled, “Its surprisingly common... I need to leave, it’s even more important that I don’t bring attention to you. I will send my partner to check on you, and I’ll come myself as soon as possible. It would be best if you discussed your Soulmate as little as possible, the less people know the better.”

“I don’t talk about him that much anyway. My Soulmark tends to make people uncomfortable.”

Natasha smiled as she climbed out the tiny window. “I can imagine. Stay safe Darcy.” Just like that she was gone. Darcy sat heavily on her bed trying to wrap her head around the last hour. She hadn’t made much headway when she slipped into an exhausted sleep.

XXXXXX

Two weeks later Darcy was curled up on the sofa with a book and a mug of hot chocolate. Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She subtly reached for the pepper spray in her pocket. The only way she would stand a chance was if she surprised whoever was sneaking up on her.

Once the pepper spray was in her hand and her finger was on the trigger, she tossed her book aside and jumped up, whirling around to face the sneak. She wasn’t quick enough and the hand with the pepper spray was caught in a vice grip. She tried to throw a punch but her attacker dodged and used her momentum to spin her around, trapping her arms painfully against her back. Still she struggled, kicking her feet and wriggling for all she was worth. She was determined she wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“Jeez, would you ease up. No wonder Tasha likes you, you got spunk.” He grunted, trying to avoid another kick to his shin. 

Darcy paused in her thrashing. “Did you say ‘Tasha’?” She asked warily, hoping it wasn’t a trick to get her to lower her guard. Then again, Natasha had warned her she’d have someone check on her, could this be the guy?

“Yeah, Natasha Romanov, scary Ex-KGB assassin, red hair, can kill people with her thighs.” Okay, anyone who could chuckle while rattling off that description was at least a little insane. And was either a really good friend of Natasha’s, or had never met the woman.

“I’ll let you go if you promise not to pepper spray me, that shit’s nasty.”

“Ok-ay” She nodded slowly. Yeah, still wary, the guy did sneak up on her and put her in a body bind. Then again, he hadn’t killed her, or drugged her yet. That probably meant he wasn’t going to. Maybe. Still, the only way she was getting out of his hold was agreeing.

He let her go and she turned around to face him. Her first good look at the guy didn’t impress her. He wasn’t nearly as put together as the Black Widow. His clothes were rumpled, and he had clearly taken a beating recently. His split lip was still bleeding a little and his black eye was almost swollen shut. He looked like he needed to get to medical, not spend time creeping on innocent (yeah right) interns. Creepy stalker dude smiled sheepishly and spoke, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just getting visible confirmation you were alright so Nat wouldn’t worry. I’m not exactly in the best shape to make a good first impression, but I didn’t expect you to be so aware of your surroundings. That’s not a thing for most kids your age.”

“Yeah, well, most kids don’t have foreboding Russian Soulmarks and haven't tazed Norse deities.” She crossed her arms, fighting the urge to wince at how sore they were from his tight hold.

“You tazed Thor?!” His sheepish grin widened into a gleeful smile. “Oh I think I’m gonna like you Lewis!” He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

Darcy scowled, “Not so sure I’m gonna like you mysterious unnamed man who sneaks up on people.”

His sheepish grin was back, ”I really am sorry about that. My name’s Clint Barton, AKA Hawkeye. Not that mysterious, at least nowhere near Natasha levels of mysterious.” He held out his hand an she shook it. “ Anyway, I better head out. Natasha’s been a mother hen since New York. The last thing I need is to have her worried cuz I was late checking in with my handler.” He got a dark look on his face when he mentioned his handler, and for the first time since she got a look at him, Darcy could believe he was the Widow’s partner. “I’ll stop by again soon, hopefully I wont scare you next time.”

Darcy said goodbye and watched him sneak out the window, staring after him for a few moments. He hadn’t been what she’d expected, but she kind of looked forward to seeing him again. She picked her book up off the floor and sat back down, bringing her tazer with her. It had worked out this time, but she was definitely needed to be more careful, especially with Natasha out stirring up a hornets’ nest that could come after her.

XXXXXX

Darcy was surprised at how quickly she got used to assassins dropping in to check on her. Though she had a feeling it was the way that they both seemed surprisingly human, like they were willing to let their guard down ever so slightly around her. Natasha seemed just as frustrated as Darcy was with how impossible it seemed to pin down the Winter Soldier’s location. 

Clint was a far more frequent visitor. Between his hearing being damaged and Loki’s mind control, he wasn’t being sent out into the field as often as Natasha. Darcy had a feeling he’d actually been assigned to keep an eye on them, but he was being discreet about it, not wanting to draw attention to Darcy or risk Jane’s wrath. Darcy started to learn ASL to help him get reacquainted. They became fast friends and she enjoyed their snarky conversations. Clint wasn’t afraid to call her out when she was being hypocritical about Jane’s lack of self care.

Jane herself was reaching the end of her rope. She lasted a whole month before she brought up their conversation about leaving. She’d had enough with the cold and data that just kept bringing Thor to mind. She decided to pack up and head to her mom’s house in London. She hoped that trying to build a good relationship with her mother would help distract her from her depression. At the very least she would have support without dragging Darcy down. She told Darcy she was more than welcome to come to London, but was honest that she didn’t know how much science would be getting done. Clint reassured her it wouldn’t be difficult to keep an eye on her if she went back to Culver, and Shield would assign someone to keep an eye on Jane. Natasha bluntly stated they had no idea if or when they would find her Soulmate, her relocation wouldn’t make a difference in the search either way, so she’d be a fool to consider him when making a decision. 

As Darcy was trying to think about her conundrum her phone started ringing. She picked it up and groaned as she saw her parents on the caller i.d. She let it go to voice mail, knowing they would only question her about when she was going back to school. She could only put them off for so long, but she didn’t want to leave Jane alone, even if the scientist was doing less and less science as the days went by, and her internship was rapidly becoming a babysitting position. Jane’s depression was steadily worsening and Darcy had no idea how to help her. She was starting to wish she’d chosen a psychology major, maybe then she’d be more useful. Of course there was every chance Jane’s distance from Thor was causing an adverse psychological reaction due to the astronomical distance between the two of them so soon after meeting. If that was the case there was nothing Darcy could do except try and support her until the worse of the symptoms passed. 

Darcy got off her bed and started to pace. She had to admit she was floundering, but it was time to make an actual decision. She had no idea what to do with a scientist to depressed to science, but she didn’t know if she could go back to sitting in a freezing lecture hall looking at slides while her professor droned on. She’d have to pretend that she didn’t know an alien prince, and hadn’t had (highly edited) political conversations with a couple of assassins who knew far more about how the world really worked than she’d learned in 3 years of college. She wanted to help people, change the world as much as she could. She’d thought a degree in Political Science was the way to do that, but that was before Thor had crashed into her life and international relations stood poised to become interstellar relations. She was starting to seriously consider if she should stay here with people who could really understand her current crisis. 

But that would mean abandoning her degree, at least temporarily. Her parents were willing to support her while she was working towards it, but she knew they wouldn’t support her decision to leave college to be a glorified babysitter. They’d already argued about her decision to stick with Jane and complete several of her courses online. They wanted her to return to Culver and soon, already starting to hint they wouldn’t continue to pay for her to continue online. She understood their reasoning. She was a Culver student, the internship was supposed to be to get the six science credits out of her way so she could focus on her degree. She needed the support and networking of Culver University, it’s why she’d enrolled in such a prominent school, and why the tuition was so high. It made no sense to her parents why she should continue to intern for a physicist with a bad reputation and pay out the nose for resources she didn’t have access to. If she could explain the situation to them they might understand, but there was no way Shield would let her blab about New Mexico just to make her life easier. 

Now that she thought about it more, maybe it was better that way. Their reaction to her Soulmark hinting at danger had been to try and keep her away. They’d probably have an epic argument about her staying with Jane. Even without knowing how much danger she was in, they would probably have one anyway. Darcy groaned at the thought, but couldn’t help feeling relieved. She knew what she was going to do. She’d probably known it since New Mexico, but hadn’t been able to really commit. But now she’d made up her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the wonderful comments, and Thank you to everyone who's read this. I hope you all liked this chapter, though it is a little darker. I promise I'll try and make the next one lighter. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. The song for Darcy's alarm is How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty. малютка (malyutka) is little one according to google translate. Боже мой (bozhe moi) is what the Widow said in the avengers and google search says it means My God or Oh My God. I know absolutely no Russian, so I can't verify either. If you have any suggestions for improving my Black Widow characterization, I'd love to hear them, I find her sooo hard to write, and I'm still not satisfied with her.


	3. Readjusting Parameters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's decision to stay with Jane puts her at ground zero for yet another alien invasion. As she comes to terms with that, Shield falls. How many times can you readjust your world views in a single year without going crazy?

Jane hadn’t been able to hide her relief when Darcy told her she would follow her to London. When she started to feel guilty about Darcy abandoning her degree, Darcy grabbed her arms tight and said, “Aliens. Aliens Jane. I’m readjusting my world view over here. I don’t have the mental capacity left over to go back like nothing happened.”

Of course, that was the moment Clint chose to let Jane know he was stalking them (“ _Guarding_ Darcy, _guarding_.” “Whatever you say dude.”). He popped out of one of the vents, scaring the bejesus out of both girls. Darcy was impressed by how quickly Jane pulled her behind her and unleashed her fury on the ‘random’ dude who had invaded their lab. By the time Darcy managed to calm the scientist down Clint was slightly dazed from having a plate smashed over his head. Jane still watched him warily as Darcy gave a brief explanation. Jane looked like she was about to unleash her furry on Darcy before Darcy promised a more thorough explanation when they were alone. Jane tamped down on her anger and they both turned toward a sheepish looking Clint. Darcy rolled her eyes at him.

He introduced himself to Jane and explained that he needed to collaborate with them about any security concerns. Leaving Norway would provide them the perfect opportunity to loose anyone sniffing about Dr. Foster and her research. It was an extra precaution, but they had the opportunity so they might as well take it. He managed to surprise Darcy by revealing he hadn’t been assigned to babysit them as she’d thought. At least not by Shield. Shield had let him get away with it because they didn’t trust him with any sensitive missions after New York. Keeping Dr. Foster from stirring up trouble was simple enough that they didn’t feel the need to assign more people to guard them. 

“Spy on us you mean?” Jane interrupted. Darcy thought it was telling that Clint didn’t disagree. “And if Shield didn’t assign you to “guard” us, then who did?” Darcy thought she knew.

Clint sighed. “Look, I was in New Mexico. I’ll admit the big guy impressed me, even more so after New York.”

Jane’s face showed her devastation, and Darcy wanted to slap him until he approached Jane, lifting her chin to look him in the eye and continued, “ He asked after you.” Clint’s voice was soft. “He was worried Loki would come after you, and he was right. After New York, that was going to be his next move. Before Thor left, he asked me to look after you. I didn’t say anything ‘till now because... I’m still trying to get my head on strait. It’s hard to think about things that happened then. But, I gotta admit, having the God of Thunder trust you enough to look after the people he cares about has done a lot to help me. I kinda think he knew it would when he asked me.”

Jane chuckled softly despite the tear tracks on her face. “Thank you.” Darcy understood how hard it was for Clint to talk about New York, and appreciated him doing so for Jane. She signed thank you to Clint from behind Jane’s back. He gave her a small nod and stepped back, giving the girls space.

Darcy wrapped her arms around Jane from behind and put her chin on her shoulder. Jane put one hand on Darcy’s and wiped her tears away with the other. “Thank you.” She said to Clint again. “Knowing he cares... It helps.” She smiled a small but bright smile. “And it makes me like you a little more, knowing you’re not just spying on us for Shield. Even if you did scare me half to death.”

Clint rubbed the back of his neck as Darcy laughed. “Wait ‘till I tell you about our first meeting. He almost got a face full of pepper spray!” Jane’s eyes widened and she let out a laugh. Darcy smiled at her then mock glared at Clint. “Anyway, care to explain why you had to interrupt our super important conversation right then and there.”

“Oh, um, yeah. Thought I would reassure Dr. Foster that even with you leaving school, you’ll still get to learn a bit of political science. I mean, me and Nat love having political conversations with you. Its nice to have ‘em with someone who’s not as cynical as our colleagues. I mean, s’not a formal college course, but you already said you learn more from us than some of your professors. Could a made a better entrance though...” He smiled at Darcy and she rolled her eyes.

“I feel like that could be the title of your autobiography. Your sense of timing is, like, nonexistent, just so you know.”

“Yeah, you’re not the first person to say that, Phi-” He looked startled for a few seconds before his face went blank. Abruptly he spun around and climbed back in to the vent he’d dropped from. 

Jane stared after him, “Are we in danger?!” She pulled away from Darcy, panicking, but Darcy just shushed her.

“Its ok, everything’s cool. He just... thought about something he hasn’t come to terms with yet. We’re cool, he’ll be back in a few days. In the mean time we can pack, and you can drop the guilt about me dropping my degree.

“Oh no! We’re not packing yet. You owe me the long explanation!”

Darcy’s face fell as she remembered her promise. “Right. Ok, but we’re definitely gonna need booze. And cookie dough. Its gonna be a rough night.”

Jane looked concerned. 

“You’re not the only one who’s been having Soulmate troubles. I didn’t say anything, I mean, Soulmates are a sensitive subject with you right now.” Jane opened her mouth to interrupt, looking hurt, but Darcy cut her off,” I know you would have listened, and I know I should have told you, but I didn’t want to think about it. Its really, really shitty, and sometimes the only way I can get through the day is to refuse to think about it. But Clint and Natasha are right, I’ve gotta face it and work through it or I’ll never be able to help him.” Her throat tightened and she fought back tears. “Seriously, booze. Its for both of us.”

Jane wrapped her in a tight hug. “Girls’ night. Blanket fort and Disney movies to cheer us up after the shit talk. I think I’ve got some rum tucked somewhere.”

“Are blanket forts going to become a tradition when one of us feels like shit?”

“Well, it worked so well the last time.” Jane gave her the same puppy dog look Darcy had given her, and just like Jane had, she burst out laughing.

That was how she ended up in a pillow fort crying in Jane’s lap as she explained her Soulmate’s troubles. Her voice was barely over a whisper, fear gripping her at the thought of being overheard. Jane just bent over her, close enough to hear her and give her comfort, crying with her over her Soulmate’s pain. She was the first person to shed tears with Darcy about her other half. Afterword the two curled up watching Mulan and Aladdin. Jane braided her hair and they both got ridiculously drunk. At one point they burst into hysterical giggles that collapsed into tears. They fell asleep clinging to each other, curled up safe in their pillow fort like little kids. Darcy’s last though as she drifted off wasn’t about her Soulmate for once. Instead she thought ‘I have the best sister ever.’

XXXXXX

Darcy and Jane started packing after Jane Skyped her mom, who welcomed the girls to come whenever they wanted. She didn’t have a room for Darcy, but the girls were fine with sharing, especially since her mom had a king sized bed in the guestroom. Space wouldn’t be an issue as neither of them had much in the way of personal belongings, aside from all of Jane’s scientific equipment. Jane had left most of her stuff in her trailer at her dad’s house. Most of Darcy’s stuff was still at her parents house, and Darcy would happily leave it there until she was ready to face her parents again. Besides she had anything really important with her and wouldn’t have room for more in the foreseeable future.

They arrived in London and were greeted at the airport by a tall brunette woman in a sundress. Annabeth, call me Anna, Jones was a lovely woman who opened her home to the girls and didn’t even blink at her attic and basement becoming science labs. She let the girls rearrange anything as they needed, even offering to rent a storage unit so they’d have more room. They reassured her that wouldn’t be necessary. 

Darcy was rather surprised at how well Anna took the news of her daughter’s Soulmate possibly being an alien prince, and the brother of the psycho who almost destroyed New York City. She was more concerned about Jane’s growing depression. She and Darcy had a long discussion about Jane’s mental health over the last year and a half. Anna agreed with Darcy that the most likely cause was the separation causing such an adverse reaction. It was not unheard of for Soulmates to experience separation anxiety while the bond was new. It was worse the further apart the bond stretched, and in this case the distance was astronomical. Combined with the stress of not knowing for sure that Jane was Thor’s Soulmate- it was no wonder Jane was slipping so deeply into depression.

They kept an eye on Jane as she slowly improved over the weeks. Clint dropped in a couple times before he was finally assigned a mission, letting them know he’d be gone for a few months. He warned Darcy that Shield wasn’t going to put anyone else on guard duty, since Jane hadn’t been doing much scientific research. While it meant Jane didn’t have to worry about being spied on, it also meant there was no one to help them if they ran into trouble.

Not two days later Erik contacted Jane, mentioning something about the convergence, stabilizing the planet, and the laws of physics. Neither girl could figure out what he meant, and both were concerned for their friend. But beyond her concern for Erik, Jane wasn’t too interested. She didn’t even bother to look at her equipment. Still, Darcy had a feeling things were about to get weird.

For a couple weeks, nothing happened. Then Anna was called out of town for a few days on business. Darcy met an adorable puppy of a guy, and better yet, he actually knew how to Science! Darcy thought it over for about 30 seconds before she claimed him as her intern. She ran by the lab to introduce him to Jane, hoping that maybe having someone who understood the more technical aspects of her research might spur Jane into Science! mode. Jane wasn’t at the house. Instead she found one of the science things going nuts. She found the note from Jane telling her where she was, looked at the science thingy, and grinned.

XXXXXX

The next 24? 48? hours were all a blur. Jane disappeared, Jane reappeared, Thor reappeared, Jane and Thor disappeared, and Darcy and Ethan? Evan? were arrested. Apparently the police decided to let them go, possibly not wanting to piss off Thor by throwing his friends in lock up, possibly wanting to forget the crazy shit. 

Darcy automatically went into a panic, trying to contact _anyone_. Clint was dark, Shield didn’t answer her calls, and Eric was missing. Well, he was until he showed up naked on the telly. Hooray, her only hope was banana balls.

Fortunately getting Eric out went smoothly. Unfortunately birds flew out of the ground and scared the shit out of her. Fortunately Jane showed up with Thor. Unfortunately they were followed by a psychotic Tolkien reject hell bent on destroying the universe using Earth as a starting point. 

Jane and Thor saved the day using Science! and Mew Mew. Ian saved her life and Darcy was so freaked out and grateful she proceeded to make out with him. Fortunately Jane was an awesome big sister who politely but firmly reminded her that while Holy Shit We’re Alive sex may sound great, Darcy was the kind of girl who would feel immensely shitty about it when she came back to her senses. Seriously, Best. Sister. Ever. Ian still decided to stick around with them. Apparently they made life more interesting. 

Jane handled Thor’s second absence much better. While on Asgard, Thor had confirmed that Jane was indeed his Soulmate, and had been devastated to realize Jane hadn’t known and had suffered their separation so greatly.

This time Thor returned only two days later, and his reunion with Jane was heartwarming. So much so that Darcy crashed on Ian’s couch for a few days and Erik wandered off to who knows where. 

Unfortunately, while staying at Ian's, Darcy woke up screaming from a dream that wasn’t her Soulmate’s. It was the first time she’d ever had a bad nightmare that she knew came from her, and she didn’t know how to handle it. It had almost happened and...

NO. No, no, no. Thinking about it would make it worse. She felt bad that she had woken up Ian, but he stayed with her. He helped her breathe, and rubbed calming circles on her back. It helped her, but it made things more awkward than ever. Ian’s Soulmark made it clear that he would meet them during a panic attack. It just brought to the forefront how close they had come to making a decision that they would both probably regret. And now she was stuck on his couch because her best friend was getting it on with the God of Thunder.

Darcy talked to Jane the next day. She apologized, embarrassed at having put Darcy in such an awkward position. Anna returned that same day and found her house had started overflowing; even Erik had returned from wherever he had been. Darcy thought she’d freak out, but she just shrugged and grabbed Thor for a Conversation. Jane and Darcy shared a look and hightailed it out of the house. They spent the day shopping, getting clothes for Thor and grabbing enough food to feed an army. Or Thor for a few days. Darcy loved seeing Jane so happy again. The woman was practically glowing, prattling on about the amazing things she had seen, and celebrating that Shield hadn’t shown up and slapped her with a bunch of NDAs. She could publish whatever papers she wanted, and she had Thor to help explain things to her. 

At one point Jane had started to apologize for going on about her Soulmate, but Darcy had just stared at her for a moment, before lightly smacking her arm. “Dude, forget it. I’m basking in your happiness right now. Don’t interrupt me. Let me bask.” 

Jane laughed and happily continued, “It’s a lot easier to avoid miscommunication when your significant other isn’t on another planet.” 

“Or from.” Darcy elbowed her.

“No, from I can work with, on is the problem. I can fight culture clash, I can’t fight billions of light years distance.”

“Dude, you totally need an intergalactic cell, one that doesn’t have a plan that includes shouting into the void and hoping the universe’s all seeing stalker feels like collecting your call.”

“Darcy!” Jane looked slightly scandalized, but she was cracking up laughing all the same. 

“What? No offense to the guy, but he’s totes a stalker. Seriously, no offense Hiemdal, if you’re even listening to this conversation.” She looked up to the sky as she spoke, ignoring the looks she was getting from the people around them.

“Pretty sure you’re just rambling to yourself. Or annoying him.” Jane’s smile was so wide it had to hurt.

“Sweet, another one off the bucket list: annoying a powerful deity!” Darcy pumped her fist in the air.

Jane just laughed an dragged her along. When they returned home Darcy was surprised to find Thor even more affectionate. She hadn’t thought that was possible. He still managed to tare himself away from Jane for a few precious moments to thank Darcy for looking after Jane while he was gone. He asked after her Soulmate and she filled him in. He was “greatly troubled to find her other half endured such pain, but glad he would have such a wonderful mate to help him through his struggles.” He vowed to protect Darcy from harm if anyone came after her and swore he would not let her Soulmate harm her, for both their sakes.

Darcy felt so much better having Thor around. She let herself relax in a way she hadn’t since she met Natasha. Jane smiling again and Thor’s genuine enthusiasm and charm kept her from sinking into a depression over her Soulmate. It helped that Natasha stopped by and said she might have a lead. She warned Darcy that it might be awhile before she could follow up. It required calling in favors from some old contacts, ones that would make Shield extremely suspicious if she communicated with unexplained. She’d have to be careful, but it was more than they’d had to go on before.

The only other thing Darcy worried about was her new nightmares. She knew they were hers alone because of their content. She hoped they wouldn’t bleed through into her Soulmate’s subconscious. He had more than enough nightmares already, she didn’t want to add to them. She reassured herself that there was no way they’d be strong enough to reach her Soulmate. His dreams were far more horrifying, that’s why they could bridge the distance between them. There was no way her horrors were that strong.

XXXXXX

She took one look at the elves that popped into existence before her and ran. They caught her, whipping her around so she was staring into their masks. She screamed as one stabbed her in the stomach, ripping the blade out of her. She collapsed to the ground as the elves walked away. She whimpered as she was left to die, bleeding out in the dirt. She looked up at the sky as the world was consumed by red dust and darkness. She screamed until her throat was raw and kept screaming until she choked on her own blood.

XXXXXX

The Asset opened his eyes. His jaw was clenched as the vestiges of the dream faded. It didn’t fit. The Asset was used to the strange and disorienting images that plagued him when he closed his eyes, a malfunction he brushed aside upon waking. This was different. 

He didn’t have time to contemplate the images. He had a mission. His work was important. It had shaped the century. He must do his part. He was the Asset, Hydra’s greatest weapon and he would not fail.

Still, a part of him, a dangerous, disobedient part of him, hoped the images would stay. Hoped that he would be permitted to keep them. He shoved this treacherous thought away. It would only lead to pain. The images were not part of the mission, and therefor unimportant. He could not think of them now. He was in position. He pulled the trigger. The mission was complete. He seethed, the rage boiling in his veins. He clamped it down as he returned to base, to the chair. He tried to hold onto the images, but they were wiped away as he screamed. It was done. He is the Asset. His mind is Clear. He is returned to the Cold.

XXXXXX

He is woken. There is a mission tomorrow. He is to sleep now. The images are somehow familiar, a woman screaming as the world ends, everything she loves torn away in red dust. He wants... _He wants_ to save her. He wakes fighting back his own screams. This is usual. What is not is the burning feel of... something... His mind screams at him to find the woman. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know what he is feeling, or why he wants to destroy the red dust. This is a malfunction. This is not his mission. The images are a distraction. He must complete the mission. He must do his part.

XXXXXX

Darcy screams at Jane to get her ass over here. Jane comes running and they stare in horror as helicarriers drop into the Potomac River. Darcy grabs her phone, looking for more information on Google. She finds it. She finds it all. She shows Jane, horrified at the implications. All of Shield’s files are on the internet. She can’t even begin to comprehend this. She is starting to hyperventilate when her phone rings. She answers on autopilot, but the voice on the line has her breaking into tears of relief. 

“Hello малютка.” She has never been so relieved to hear someones voice. 

“Natasha, _thank God_ , are you ok? Where’s Clint, never mind where, is he ok, oh god, oh,”

“малютка calm yourself, breathe, little one, breathe. I am ok, I don’t know where Clint is, but if he doesn’t want to make me angry, he will be mostly in one piece, and will make his way to you as soon as he can. I don’t have long, only a moment. I need you to stay with Thor, you and Jane. Hydra infiltrated Shield. You should download any of the files you get your hands on, Clint will need to analyze them. You might be able to help. And I’m sorry I don’t have more time, but before I go, He was there. Your Soulmate. He was on the Helicarrier, but we haven’t found a body, and if anyone can survive that it’s the Winter Soldier. Steve says he’s James Barnes, his childhood friend. You may find information in the files. I’m sorry, but I have to go. Stay safe малютка.” The line goes dead and Darcy just stares at Jane, trying to comprehend everything she just heard. She breathes deeply, reaching out to grab Jane’s hands to keep hers from shaking. 

“We have work to do.” 

They scramble together, using every spare gig of storage they have to download as much info as possible. They send Ian out to get more, but he’s not the only one scrambling for USBs to hold all this information. The public is outraged at everything that has been hidden from them. America wasn’t the only country with dirty secrets that had been exposed, and everyone knew that the world’s governments would try to keep as much of this contained as possible. It wouldn’t be much. 

Clint showed up three days after the shit hit the fan. He looked worse than he had the first time she saw him, and definitely in a lot of pain. He still let Darcy hug him like a boa constrictor. Actually he hugged her back just as tightly. He didn’t say anything when she made his shirt damp, relieved that all her favorite people were ok. 

Even her nightmares had been a relief. She’d woken up Jane curling between her and Thor after the first one came. They’d laughed and cried with her before they fell asleep in a heap. In the morning she counted herself luck they had been clothed, but in the night it hadn’t even crossed her mind. She just needed them. 

Tony Stark contacted them. There was a video call she’d never expected to receive. He informed them that they had their own floor (!) in Avenger’s tower. He argued that it was the safest place for them, that way Hydra couldn’t attempt a divide and conquer move. They’d have to wait a while though, international flights were grounded, even for Tony Stark. Darcy and Jane weren’t too worried, they had two avengers crashing at their house, they should be safe for now. They settled in to wait, combing through all the data they had saved.

XXXXXX

The soldier walked away from the man he couldn’t kill. He walked away despite the voice in his head screaming at him to stay, to make sure the man was safe. The same voice that wouldn’t let him kill the man, that screamed the man was telling the truth. He ignored it now. The soldier has had many voices in his head. He doesn’t know if he can trust this one. 

He is programmed to return to base at the end of a mission. He doesn’t. 

He steals clothing and supplies unnoticed. He is good at going unnoticed when needed. 

He finds an internet connection and peruses the data that leaked. He’s not sure what he’s looking for until he finds it, documentation on an incident in London. There is video footage, cobbled together from security cameras and cell phone videos. He know the faces of the elves, has seen that storm in his dream. He looks at the files of the individuals connected to the case. He knows their faces too. Dr. Jane Foster, Thor, Dr. Erik Selvig, and Darcy Lewis. He pauses over her file. He doesnt’ know her face, though he knows the others. Yet she is familiar... The dreams are from her view. She is the woman he wants to protect. Now he knows where she is. So does Hydra, if they think she could be useful. She would be the perfect target. According to the files, Dr. Foster may hold the key to interstellar travel and Lewis is her intern. She has access to the research, but isn’t as close to Thor. She is the target they would send him after. He growls in his throat at the thought and scares the man next to him. He leaves quickly, deleting his history. No need to draw attention to her. 

He needs to go to her. Needs to place her under his protection, a shadow following her in case the other monsters of the world decide to target her. He doesn’t know why he needs this so much. He is smart though. He can not get out of the country, not yet, not without drawing attention to himself. He must wait. The United States can’t block every route in and out of the country for long. He will leave in a week or two. Until then, he has another mission. Find out if the man on the bridge was telling the truth. He knows where to start.

The soldier stalked out of the museum, an unsettling feeling in his chest. He ignored it until he got to the warehouse he’d secured. Even there he couldn’t place it, his limited experience with processing emotions a constant frustration as he was bombarded with strange memories. Still the mission had been a success. What ever else the Soldier was feeling he was- pleased? No, that wasn’t right, too strong a word. Not fitting with the quiet rage curled in his stomach, the only emotion he had never had trouble identifying. Still, he wanted to know how to catalog the emotion he felt at the completion of the first mission he had ever assigned himself. Not the churning mix of emotions that threatened to cripple him when he thought of the exhibit, but the other feeling. Separate from the constant rage, calmer than the storm... satisfaction? Yes that was it. He was satisfied that the mission had gone well. He’d never felt that before. Before, a mission well done made him want to scream in rage, something in him balking at what he’d done. It was why they never kept him conscious for long after a mission. It was so much harder to control their weapon after it was successfully discharged. He shook his head as the thoughts invaded, echos of screams resounding in his ears. He ignored them, shoving them aside as distractions. The mission was successful, the man on the bridge had told the truth. He needed to adjust the parameters he was working within. The soldier had been born James Buchanan Barnes. Steve Rodgers, the man on the bridge, had been his friend. He _knew_ him, a fact they had known when they stole his memories once more. The soldier bared his teeth. Never again. Never again would they reach into his mind and pull out everything that made him and put back whatever monster they wanted. 

The soldier stared at his reflection in a dirty window, looking himself in the eye.  
“My name is James Buch... Bucha...” He growled in frustration as he choked on the name, feelings cascading over him, to overwhelming for him to even begin too sort them out. He shook his head, breathing heavy. “My name is James Barnes.” He forced the words out through clenched teeth. Nausea threatened to overwhelm him as he defied everything he had been told for as long as he could remember. He wasn’t- NO. He had been TOLD he was not a human, TOLD that he had no identity. He had been TOLD he was nothing more than Hydra’s greatest Asset. They had LIED. They had taken his identity from him, taken his humanity and turned him into a weapon. He was going to take it back. ALL of it. His humanity, his identity, his memories, his life. It was HIS. 

The soldier- James. He was James. He was vomiting, but smiling still as he thought that. I am James. I am James. He repeated it over and over as he heaved the pathetic contents of his stomach onto the warehouse floor. He was on his hands and knees, dry heaving when nothing else would come up. Shaking in fear of the beating that would come if his handlers knew what he was doing, what he was claiming. Memories flooded his mind. He saw himself screaming his own name over and over as men tried to beat it out of him. The chair hadn’t taken everything all at once, not in the early days when they were trying to burn out an entire life. He remembered holding onto his name when he couldn’t remember anything else, nothing but the cell and the pain. They had taken that, but here he was 70 years later and he barely remembered anything else, but he knew that. He knew his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was sooo much easier to write. I hope you all enjoy it, and thanks for reading :)


	4. The World Is Going Crazy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Co. are organizing the leaked data files and trying not to kill each other as James makes his way to London.

Darcy was curled up in a nest of cushions, her laptop open on her stomach. She chewed on her lip as she stared at the blinking cursor on the screen. Google search was clearly mocking her indecisiveness. The cursor just kept blinking, smug bastard. (Shut up, she’s not crazy, you’re crazy... Yeah nope she’s totally insane.)

None of the files they’d managed to grab had anything on the Winter Soldier. That didn’t mean none of the dumped files had info on him right? Before she could loose her nerve she typed her search and pressed enter.

Nothing.

Well, almost nothing. There were a few theory sites mapping hydra files that hinted at the Asset and some grainy low quality pictures where his arm stood out against the solid black of his uniform. Hydra must have been careful not to leave any trail back to him, at least not a digital trail. For someone who blew up half of DC, he was a surprisingly well kept secret. Not even cell phone footage had been taken, people had apparently been too terrified. Knowing the 21st century, Darcy can’t imagine how afraid people must have been to not whip out their cell phones.

Darcy huffed in frustration then wondered if she should be relieved. She already had an idea of the hell he’d lived through, did she want to see it in black and white? Then again, could she afford to go in blind, not knowing what was done to him? Darcy banged her head back onto her pillow a few times. She closed her eyes and contemplated letting her exhaustion take over. 

A snore broke the silence and she jumped, rolling her eyes when she realized it was her floor mate Clint. He rolled over in his sleep, his nose knocking into Ian’s hand where it dangled from the couch. Darcy suppressed a laugh at the boys on the other side of the room and turned back to her computer, moving to shut it down.

A thought struck her. Hydra might not have leaked any info on the Winter Soldier, but history had recorded a lot about the famous “Bucky” Barnes. He might never be the same man he once was, but it might not hurt to know a little background. She typed his name into Google and settled into read.

She stopped after a few minutes, too angry and heartbroken to continue. The Smithsonian had found letters written to him during the war and put them online. Reading them was like twisting a knife in her gut. He’d had a sister, Becca, who all but begged her brother to come home safe and “bring that bull headed Steve home too.” His mother and father had told him how proud they were and how much they looked forward to having their brave boy home.

Reading their words and knowing that he never came home, knowing the hell he’d endure instead, was too much. She’d face it later, but right now she couldn’t. She fell asleep staring at his picture, wondering if her fervent wishes for his safety would be just as fruitless as his family’s.

The next morning she woke well rested. It was a mark of how crazy her life was that she had hopped for nightmares. At least they would reassure her that her Soulmate was still alive. 

She made her way to the kitchen, scowling at the bright sun streaming through the windows. The world had been turned on it’s head, but the sun still shone. Normally that thought was reassuring, but today she wasn’t in the mood to dwell on the cosmic insignificance of humanity. She wasn’t looking forward to yet another day of combing through Shield’s secrets learning more and more about the rampant corruption of the world. 

She plopped into the seat across from Clint who greeted her with a tired smile. He was only in his boxers and his hair was sticking up in all directions from running his hands through it. At least he’d managed to sleep a little. Darcy usually had to bully him away from the files when he looked like he was on the point of collapse. He was as bad as Jane on a Science binge.

Thor was puttering around in the kitchen. After they’d explained the appliances he’d proven surprisingly adept at cooking basic meals, a literal godsend with how busy they were. He had expressed concerns his unfamiliarity with Earth customs meant he would miss important information, and had no qualms taking over Darcy’s customary role of mother hen. That didn’t mean he had no insight to offer; he was the Crown Prince of Asgard after all. He, Darcy and Clint spent a lot of time discussing the political ramifications of their discoveries, and trying to figure out the best course of action. Thor was particularly uneasy about Loki’s scepter still being missing. He’d been uncomfortable leaving the scepter behind and had only done so to get the Tesseract out of human hands. Now he was beginning to fear that it could do more damage in the wrong hands than the Tesseract.

Thor whipped them up a hearty omelet, serving it to them with a dimmed smile. Even Thor’s normal cheer couldn’t stand up to the capacity for human cruelty. Jane joined them, pouring over leaked lab reports. Darcy hoped these didn’t include human test subjects. She didn’t thing they could handle anymore of that shit right now. 

“Is Ian still passed out on the couch?” Darcy asked, trying to inject some lightness into her tone. She failed.

“Yeah.” Jane looked like she wanted to say something else, but just looked back down at her papers.

“Stark called.” Clint yawned wildly, “He isn’t making too much headway on getting me or Thor back into the country. Though he finally convinced Britain not to arrest me, so that’s a relief.” 

“I kind of understand Thor, but isn’t Clint an American Citizen?” Anna asked as she stumbled in to join them. 

“Yeah, but I’m also a Shield Agent, and right now that equates to Nazi Terrorist.” He made no effort to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “Besides, the laws get kinda murky when you’re dealing with International Espionage. Until Tony can convince the American Government to calm down, the only way I’ll return is in handcuffs with an armed escort.”

“After the damage my brother wrought in New York it is little surprise your government is reluctant to allow my return. It does nothing to make it easier to bear.”

Unspoken was the fact that Clint’s involvement with Loki was counting against him. The Scepter was nowhere to be found and what little files available didn’t explain how it had allowed Loki to control Clint. The opinion that Darcy and Jane should join the other American Citizens evacuating to America also went unspoken. The massive row that had ensued when Thor suggested it lingered in everyone’s mind, adding to the increasingly tense environment. 

Clint sometimes slipped out to get supplies, and Ian and Erik slipped off to Ian’s flat most nights. The rest of them had been trapped here all week.Tempers were flaring as they tripped over each other, each of them emotionally and physically exhausted. Anna had to box up her entire life, unable to stay in her home. Tony was paying for her safe relocation and was running thorough background checks on anyone assigned to protect her. Still she wasn’t exactly pleased at having to uproot her entire life for an unknown amount time.

A loud bang startled Darcy out of her thoughts. Clint had stood up so fast his chair fell. His face was white as a sheet and he was shaking, his hands balled into fists at his side. He stormed out of the room without any explanation. The four left behind in the kitchen shared a look then turned the computer to see what had caused such a severe reaction.

On the screen was a wall of text, all in the code hydra members had used to communicate with each other. Clint had shown them how to crack some of their codes, needing to focus on more important things. It took a few minutes to decode the messages between Jasper Sitwell and John Garrett. 

When they finished they stared at each other in shock. They had deciphered a message discussing plans to discover how Agent Phil Coulson had been brought back to life after the Battle of New York.

“The Son of Coul Lives?” Thor’s voice held the same incredulity they all felt.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Jane looked confused, “ Why would he be angry?”

“He and Coulson were close, he was pretty much the only guy at Shield Clint and Natasha really trusted. If he’s alive and didn’t tell them? That’s a serious breach of trust, and Clint was already having a rough time.” Darcy stared at the door Clint had stormed through. She didn’t add that he felt responsible for Coulson’s death because of Loki. Natasha had told her that they’d lost their Handler in the attack and Clint was pretty shaken up about it. Thor had told them abut the brave Son of Coul who had died at Loki’s hand. It didn’t take much to put two and two together.

“The betrayal of one so close to you is hard to bear, especially when it comes after mourning them.” Thor’s face was grave as he spoke.

Jane stood and hugged him from behind. He smiled sadly at her, gently taking one of her hands and kissing her palm. “Milady you are a balm to my soul. I only wish our friend had someone to be the same.”

Darcy’s phone went off, startling everyone and spoiling Jane and Thor’s moment. She sheepishly grabbed it, letting out a groan when she saw it was her parents. She declined the call automatically then stared at her phone as she realized something. Aside from a single “I’m safe” text, she hadn’t contacted her parents at all. She’d declined any of their phone calls and ignored their texts. She’d been so focused on combing through files that she hadn’t even stopped to think about her family. She was a horrible, horrible person. 

She had to fix this, or at least make it better. She went into the other room so she could get a semblance of privacy, shooting a small smile at her friends worried looks. Once alone, (if she ignored Ian drooling on the sofa) she opened her voice-mail. She spent five minutes listening to her parents frantic pleas for her to be okay and to get in contact with them. Apparently a news special on Thor had mentioned her involvement. There was even shaky cell phone video of her running around with Science Sticks. At that point Darcy hung up her phone and went on Facebook. She ignored the hundreds of messages she had from her friends that had also caught the special and forced herself to read all of her parents messages. By the time she was done she felt like shit for making hem worry so much.

She went to the kitchen, made herself some hot chocolate, and told Jane what she was up too. She guiltily ignored Ann’s disapproving looks and darted back to her computer. She settled in and started typing a long email. 

It took her two hours to finish. She tried to explain everything that had happened without adding too many details that wouldn’t have been in the files. Just because Natasha had upped her computer’s security didn’t mean people couldn’t pull stuff off her parent’s computer. Though she was relieved she was finally able to explain her actual reasoning for following Jane and dropping her degree. Any NDAs she’d signed were totally void. She explained briefly Jane’s depression, leaving out Thor being her Soulmate. That fact wasn’t on any of the Shield files and there was no way she was going to risk that getting out. She emphasized her existential crises as her reason for sticking around Jane. She didn’t think it would be a good idea to brag about the fact that she was getting lessons in politics from assassins and an alien prince. No need to draw attention to herself, or give her parents more to worry about. She’d cringed when she realized she couldn’t exactly tell them that she wasn’t just a horrible daughter who didn’t think about calling her parents when the world was falling down. There was no way she could risk telling them in email or on the phone that she was part of the mad scramble trying to weed through the rubble and make a plan of attack. 

Another thing she couldn’t talk to them about was her Soulmate. Even if she could get a secure connection, even if she were face to face with them, she wouldn’t have the guts to tell them about him. Darcy could only imagine how that conversation would go. “Oh, hey mom and dad, you know how you’ve been dreading me meeting my Soulmate? Well I did some digging with the assistance of _the_ Black Widow, turns out my Soulmate is responsible for tearing up D.C. and has been branded a terrorist and being hunted by every organization in America, probably quite a few international ones. Especially Hydra. Oh, and hes the brainwashed and tortured war hero “Bucky” Barnes. You know, Captain America’s BFF.” Yeah, that would go over about as well as a nuclear bomb.

She forced herself away from thoughts about her MIA Soulmate and reread her email. Once she was satisfied it was as good as it was gonna get, she added a promise to answer the next time they called and hit send. Darcy figured she had at least a half an hour before her parents finished reading her email and called. She headed back to the kitchen for a snack and grabbed a stack of printouts that still needed decoded. She took them back into the other room and settled down into her little cushion nest. Though Ian was camped out on the couch, (now awake and looking a little sick at whatever he was reading) Darcy still felt like she had some privacy, at least enough that she didn’t bite everyone’s head off constantly. 

She got almost a full page decoded before her phone rang. Gulping she picked it up. Her voice was incredibly sheepish as she said hello.

“Darcy Elinore Lewis. There are no words. Your father and I have been sick with worry. The entire world is falling apart and all we get is _I’m safe?_ ” Her mother’s voice was sharp with barely contained fury. “That’s it!? We have to find out from the news that our baby girl is involved with _Aliens!?_ That your life has been in danger, not once, but TWICE because of Jane Foster, who was supposed to be looking after you!? You just send an email, not even telling us why you couldn’t be bothered to contact us. I can’t believe you.” Darcy winced as her mother choked back a sob. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you why but it’s not... It doesn't even matter why I didn’t because I should have. I should have checked to make sure you guys were ok, and I didn’t and I’m sorry.” Darcy was fighting back tears of her own.

Her mother took a steadying breath before she spoke again. “You’re right, you should have. But we’re just so glad you’re ok. I love you. All I kept thinking about was I hadn’t said that to you, haven’t said anything to you in almost a year. You could have died and we weren’t talking.” 

Hearing her mother break down she lost the battle to her own tears. “I love you too, Mom.”

Darcy heard movement beside her and looked up to see Ian leaving the room to give her some time alone. She shot him a grateful smile as he gave a sheepish wave. She wiped away her tears and took a deep breath, refocusing on the conversation. 

“Hey Darcy-Lou, glad you finally got back to us.” Her dad’s hoarse voice made her guilt double. Jonathan Lewis didn’t cry easy. 

“Hi daddy, I’m so sorry. I should have gotten back to you.” Darcy tried to keep her voice steady.

“Yes, you should have.” Her Dad’s voice was stern, immediately reminding her of every single time she’d gotten in trouble during her childhood. Just like then she felt about an inch tall. She might disagree with them on a lot of points, but she hated fighting with her parents. That’s why she hadn’t contacted her parents since their last huge fight about her staying with Jane. Arguing with them always made her feel like shit, even when she knew she was right. Now, when she knew she was definitely in the wrong, it was more than horrible.

“Darcy-Lou, I’m not gonna say I’m not disappointed, but it’ll be ok. We’ll hash it all out when you come home.”

Oh shit. Oh shit, not good. “Um...”

“You are coming home. You are _not_ staying with the woman who almost got you killed more than once.”

“Hey, none of that was Jane’s fault... Okay so it kinda was a little bit, but I signed up for this. I knew what I was getting into after New Mexico, and I decided to stick around. I’m not gonna turn tail just cause it’s all out in the open. Hell I’m safer where I am now than I would be if I went home.”

“This isn’t up for debate, you’re coming home. You’re going to pack your bags, and march your butt to the nearest evacuation center and get on a goddamn plane. It’s not safe for you to stay there. The entire world now knows Foster, and that where she is, they’re likely to find Thor. Anybody who wants to get at him is going to come looking for her first, and I’m not gonna be worried that my baby girl is gonna be caught in the cross fire. Not to mention he’s the brother of the guy that tore up NYC. Him and his band of freaks are not the kind of people you should be around.”

“Hold up, you did NOT just call Thor a freak?!” Darcy couldn’t believe her ears. “You’ve never even met him! Just because the dude is from another planet doesn’t make him a freak, and that kind of attitude is half the problem with the world today. And who the hell do you think you are ordering me to come home, I mean yeah you’re my parents, but last I checked 24 was plenty old enough to be making my own life decisions. This isn’t the middle ages, I don’t have to go where my parents say. So NO, I’m not coming home. Yes, I am staying here where I’m safe and doing something useful, not sitting on my ass while the world goes banana balls. I’m sorry I worried you, but ya know what, this is exactly why we haven’t talked in so long, cuz you’re so damn set on keeping your little girl safe that you didn’t realize she grew the fuck up. I’m gonna get back to being a bad ass, don’t bother contacting me unless you grow up and are ready to apologize to me for trying to control me and insulting my best friends.” 

She angrily stabbed her phones power button, tossing it aside when that relieved none of her frustration. She buried her face in her hands, breathing deeply to keep calm, furiously wiping away the few tears that leaked out.

After a few moments of measured breathing Darcy felt she was composed enough. Her father’s reaction was exactly what she’d been afraid of. She slammed the door closed on that train of thought. The world was still falling apart. There was more data to go through, and people to bully into taking care of themselves. She couldn’t afford to let her personal problems interfere right now so she wouldn’t. Darcy was ready to take on the world, at least a very specific, twisted part of the world.

 

XXXXXX

 

James slept fitfully, tucked into the corner of an alley he had collapsed in when he couldn’t go any further. Days of running with little sleep and less food were taking a tole on his already battered body. The only thing keeping him going was fear, and the woman. If he stopped running, Hydra would capture him. He already had several close calls. It hadn’t taken them as long as he’d thought to regroup enough to come after him, a fact that meant Darcy Lewis was in more danger than he’d anticipated. 

A loud motor nearby startled James awake. He snapped into a defensive position, knife in hand. He settled back when he realized there was no intimidate threat. He needed to move. He’d been in the same spot for a few hours, any longer was reckless. Only yesterday he’d almost been spotted by a Hydra agent. Still he’d managed to get to Baltimore. It had taken him several days to lay enough false trails that he was satisfied most agents tracking him would think he’d stayed in the country. Several of the trails lead to New York. Hopefully Hydra showing up in New York would attract the attention of Stark or one of the other Avengers.

James groaned as he picked his sore body off the ground. He’d forced his arm back into it’s socket, but it was still sore. Most of his other malfu- _injuries_ had healed but his back was beginning to strain from carrying the wight of his arm. He couldn’t remember, but he felt that he’d never been on a mission as long as this. He wouldn’t doubt that Hydra had used the weight of the arm as another safeguard. He’d already dug out several devices somehow designed to incapacitate him. He only hoped he had removed them all.

His breath caught as a sharp twinge went through his side, but quickly ignored it. He needed to get to the docks, and check if there was an international shipment headed for England. Most International travel was still canceled except for evacuees, and the security was too tight to risk. However, some shipping from major ports was slowly resuming. Capitalism wouldn’t slow down for long, but it was working for him today. It would be much easier to sneak on board a freight ship unnoticed. Once he figured out which ship he was boarding, he would need to secure supplies to to last him. He might even be able to rest in the relative safety of the Atlantic. His lips twitched pleasantly at the thought, then he scowled in irritation as his chest began itching again. He’d have to examine the skin later to see what could be causing the irritation. Hopefully it wouldn’t be an issue. 

XXXXXX

Several hours later he walked into a public restroom at a store. He’d draw less attention while he secured supplies if he cleaned himself up before doing so. The ship would be leaving tomorrow, but he would slip on board tonight using the darkness for cover. He’d spent some time casing the place and didn’t anticipate any issues. He still had several thousand dollars left from a safe house he’d raided. In the event he was discovered on the ship, he should be able to buy their cooperation.

Once inside a stall he pulled himself out of his planning to focus on a physical inventory. He stripped his shirt off to inspect the irritated patch on his chest. 

His heart pounded when he saw the words on his flesh. He knew of Soulmarks; Hydra had long used the fact that he had no Soulmark as proof he didn’t have a soul. An echo of a memory hinted that “Bucky” hadn’t had one either, a fact that was confirmed by his research. But this- this was a Soulmark. _On Him_. He, he couldn’t have... It was impossible. Hydra had carved out his humanity, hadn’t they carved out his soul as well?

It took him a few minutes to bring himself to decipher the upside down writing. He drew in a shaky breath, half concerned his mark would brand him a monster; how could his Soulmate look at him and see anything but the monster he’d become. With a sense of dread he read the words engraved in his skin.

‘You saved our lives.’

He read the words several times before they sank in, filling him with an emotion he couldn’t name, but couldn’t help but bask in. He saved them. Whoever his Soulmate was, he saved their life. Here was irresistible proof that he had a soul, and the capacity to save someone, to do something good. 

It was all he could do to remain standing as that thought sank in. Once it did, his mind started racing. Hydra must have known he had a Soulmark. They must have concealed it somehow. Most likely some chemical formula designed to suppress the Soulmark for a short time. That was all they’d need, they’d just have to re-administer it whenever they wiped him.

He shifted his train of thought as he felt the rage building up inside. He would stick out like a sore thumb if he walked around looking as murderous as he felt, and he couldn’t stay in the bathroom much longer. He forced himself to think about his Soulmate, and who they could possibly be. His first thought was the man- Steve, who had been willing to die rather than hurt him, but he dismissed the thought. If his Soulmate was Steve than “Bucky” would have had his mark. 

Then he thought of his dreams. With the images Darcy Lewis had dreamed and that had somehow reached him, combined with the instinctive drive he had to protect her, it was possible she was his Soulmate. Regardless, she was still in danger, and he still needed to protect her. He would continue the mission he was on.

XXXXXX

Darcy finished packing the box she’d been working on. The place looked so bare with everything packed away. Anne had left a week ago, her and Selvig had been taken to a safe house with Stark vetted security. Thor had even ‘consulted the wisdom of Hiemdal’ to assure Anne that she would be safe. She still hadn’t had time to finish packing up her entire life, so they’d finished packing everything and getting it to storage. Not to mention the rigmarole involved with packing up all of Jane’s sensitive scientific equipment. Clint had snuck out to help Ian pack up his apartment since he was still determined to stick with them. Thor and Clint had finally been approved to enter the country and they were leaving in a few days.

Darcy sighed and stacked her box over with the rest of the living room boxes before she went to the kitchen to sit with Jane.

“Any news on the rogue beasty the guys went to check out?” 

“Nah, nothing new. Guess Hawkeye and Thor haven’t been there long enough to make news. Give it another hour and it’ll be all over the place.” Jane didn’t even glance up from her laptop as Darcy poured water into one of the few glasses that weren’t packed.

*Ian, my name is Ian. Ian, my name is Ian*

Jane raised her eyebrow, “I still can’t believe you made him say that so you could make it your ring-tone.”

Darcy giggled as she picked it up. “It so totally fits.”

“Darcy, RUN, now get Jane and-”

*BANG* A shrill scream that Darcy remembered all too well rang out before she heard his phone clatter to the ground.

She looked at Jane for a split second then grabbed her arm, hauling her out of the chair.

“Wha- Darcy, Hey!”

“Ian was shot!”

“Oh my God,” Jane started running with her. They bolted down the stairwell, praying that they’d get out before whoever came through. Just as they reached the outside door a goon in tactical gear burst through it. Darcy fired off her taser and led Jane round the back as the goon writhed on the floor.

They made it to the back door, ripping it open and tearing off down the alley, Darcy shoving Jane in front of her.

Several goons burst through the door behind them. Darcy and Jane both shrieked as a gun went off.

“ZIG-ZAG JANE, ZIG-ZAG!” Jane took her advice as several more shots rang off.

Darcy screamed again as her arm was hit. She spared a glance down and saw a dart in her arm, her vision already starting to double. She tripped over her own feet, and heard Jane scream her name in horror. “RUN, DAMN-IT JANE RUN!” She yelled at the frozen astrophysicist. Jane looked close to tears, but she took off again.

XXXXXX

James watched from his perch on top of the building across the street as both the Agent and Thor left the house. He’d heard of the rampaging beast that was terrorizing a nearby shopping district. He’d heard and anyone else listening in for the perfect opportunity to grab the girls. The Agent would, _should_ know this. Perhaps. Though James was decidedly unimpressed with the supposedly legendary archer. He’d been watching for two days since he finally made it to the city, and “Hawkeye” had not seen him. Was a damned miracle nobody’d gotten the drop on ‘em already. He blinked at the thought, edged with an old memory. He couldn’t chase it right now. His mission was vital. Right now he was the only one here to guard the house. 

His momentary distraction combined with slowed reflexes was enough. He heard the shot but couldn’t dodge it. The dart hit the back of his neck. He yanked it out but his vision was already doubling. He sank to his knees shaking his head like a dog trying to get his thoughts back. He heard boots hit the roof and opened his eyes. Twelve men in black tactical tear joined him, some with guns trained on him as others dislodged parachutes.

He blinked as he looked up and twelve became six. They had counted on the drug keeping him down. Fools. He exploded into action, metal arm blocking a spray of bullets as he barreled into the nearest opponent. He used him as a shield, grabbing his gun arm and shooting three gunman in the chest. He hurled the corpse shield into another man, knocking him down before he grabbed the gun arm of the last man, a single punch with his metal hand killing him. He picked up a gun and shot the buried man point blank in the head.

He ran to the edge of the roof, his blood going cold at the sight he saw. Without hesitation he leaped down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chap out, health problems followed by computer problems are no fun. On the upside half the next chapter is written so it shouldn't take nearly as long to get it out. Lots of Love to you all :)


	5. We're Going Crazier.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James ruins Hydra's plans and expresses his displeasure with Clint and Thor. Once sleeping beauty wakes up, they finally get the chance to talk.

Darcy heard the sound of boots slamming into the ground behind her and forced herself to turn over. She was trying hard to fight the drugs in her system, but her vision was going blurry anyway. Still, she knew that arm. The Winter Soldier was crouched between her and the goon squad.

She lost the fight against her eyelids as more gunshots ran out. She desperately tried to open them, convinced she’d only hallucinated her Soulmate and knowing she needed to get up or she’d be captured. The noises she heard were muffled, as though coming from a distance and she couldn’t make sense of them. She tried to force herself to move, but it was like she was trapped in a nightmare too close to waking; she couldn’t force her eyes open and her legs wouldn’t move. She could feel her heart pounding and wished she could open her mouth to scream, but even that was beyond her. 

She felt someone crouch down beside her and the jolt of fear when they went to pick her up was enough to make her eyes open. They met blue eyes in a familiar face and Darcy felt relief wash over her. She looked into her Soulmate’s eyes and knew she was safe. She was so tired, but she forced herself to speak, hoping it came out as more than a mumble, “You saved our lives.” His astonished face was the last thing she saw as the drugs took her under.

XXXXXX

James stared down at the woman in his arms, Darcy Lewis, _his Soulmate_. He growled at the dart in her arm, pulling it out and putting it with the dart they’d hit him with. He desperately hoped they hadn’t used the same dosage in her dart, it would probably kill her if they had. Fortunately, she was breathing regularly and the sensors in his hand registered her heart rate as normal, if slow. He would need to keep an eye on her to make sure that didn’t change. He gently lifted her, ignoring the pain that lanced through his back as he stood. She was the most precious thing he’d ever carried and he tried to be as gentle as he could. He didn’t know if he succeeded, he had no memories of gentleness. So far the only memories he had regained were of pain and bloodshed. Still, he tried. They couldn’t stay here in case reinforcements came, and he needed to locate Jane Foster. The woman was important to Darcy Lewis, _his Soulmate_ , and therefore she was important to him.

He walked steadily down the alley, careful not to disturb the woman in his arms. His senses were on full alert for any hint of movement. As he continued down the alley he heard fast paced breathing, verging on hyperventilation. That sound was present in many of his admittedly scant memories, but this time it triggered a fierce sense of protectiveness and the vague memory of a painfully thin back under his hands. He pulled away from the memory, his ears echoing with ragged, wheezing breaths. He glanced around, locating a dumpster. Rounding the other side of it he saw Jane Foster crouched, clutching a bottle as a makeshift weapon. He would have found the scene amusing if not for the fierceness in her eyes. It reminded him of... someone. The fierce feeling of protectiveness doubled.

Jane Foster eyed him warily, but seemed to relax slightly.

“You’re... You’re not going to hurt us.” Her voice was shaking slightly, but her words were still more statement than question.

“No.” He wondered if he should continue, but didn’t.

Foster stood shakily. “Can I... Can I make sure she’s alright?” Her voice was hesitant as she took a step forward then stopped.

James considered for a moment, then stepped forward to meet her. It was disconcerting to have another person willingly come so close to him, but he ignored it. Jane brushed a strand of hair from Darcy’s forehead then inspected the small puncture wound from the dart.

After a moment James spoke, ”We shouldn’t stay here. Reinforcements may come.”

“Right. I need to find a phone to let Thor and Clint know what happened.” She looked at him, “You’ll draw a lot of attention carrying her like that, and -Oh, God Ian! Ian was shot, I need to call the police, he might need an ambulance.” She took off running down the alley. James followed quickly, trying not to jostle Darcy too much.

They didn’t make it to the end of the alley before a clap of thunder boomed behind them and a bellow of rage reached their ears. James dropped to his knees covering Darcy at the sound, but Foster turned around and ran toward the sound, yelling for Thor.

Realizing what happened James picked himself up, groaning as his body protested. He turned to follow Foster and caught up with her almost at the same time Thor did. James stared at the huge man as he wrapped Jane in his arms. The images he’d seen hadn’t done him justice.

A bang startled him, but it was just the archer flying out of the door. James leveled a glare at the agent. “You shouldn’t have left them alone.” He growled out, looking to Thor as he finished speaking.

“We didn’t. You were there.” James whipped his head back to stare a the archer, who snorted. “What? They don’t call me Hawkeye for nothing you know. We didn’t tell the girls yet, but we’d figured out real quick you were keeping watch.”

“I was... I was with _Them_. You still risked their safety.” If possible he was even more furious, knowing they’d left someone so precious in his hands.

“Hiemdal also kept watch. If you were to prove untrustworthy or to be overcome he would have interfered.” Thor’s voice rumbled deeply. He’d yet to let go of Jane Foster. “Though I had little doubt. You are Lady Darcy’s Soulmate, that alone speaks to your strength of character.

James considered asking how he knew, but Jane spoke before he could. “Ian was shot, we need to help him.”

“He’s alright. Fortunately one of his neighbors is a cop. He was off duty and heard the shot. He dealt with the bastards and got Ian medical attention. Ian called us to let us know what was going on, it’s how we got here so fast.”

“Good.” Jane buried her face into Thor’s chest again.

James was getting more paranoid the longer they stayed here, especially in the open. His back was starting to strain from carrying Darcy Lewis, sharp stabs of pain accompanied by a worsening ache. He would carry Darcy Lewis as long as he needed to, but he was rapidly loosing his functionality. The jump off the roof hadn’t helped his already failing body. “We shouldn’t stay here.” He bit the words out through clenched teeth.

“Barnes is right, we can’t stay here. We need to find somewhere to lay low for the next couple days, unless Stark can get the jet here sooner.

James flinched when he heard his name, unused to hearing it. He ignored the look the archer aimed at him, shifting on his feet as he adjusted his hold on Darcy Lewis. His back screamed in protest again, but he ignored that too.

Clint continued. “There’s a Shield safe-house nearby, but Hydra most likely knows about it. Either way we can’t risk it.”

“Then we must find another place to rest, and hastily.” Thor turned and guided Jane back into the building. They stepped by two bodies laying on the stairs, arrows sticking out of them. Another body lay inside the apartment entrance. Jane clearly tried not to look at the dead men as she took in all the papers scattered everywhere. James settled himself near the entryway, not letting go of the precious woman in his arms. He watched uneasily as Jane and Thor grabbed everything they needed. Hawkeye left the room to make phone calls to find a secure location.

James bent his head to examine his Soulmate. She was breathing slowly yet steadily and his sensors registered no alarming changes in her heart rate. He felt a strange ache in his chest as he looked at her, different from the strain he felt from carrying her. He still had no idea how she could possibly be _his_ Soulmate.

He looked up as Hawkeye returned. “I got in contact with Stark. Let him know what happened. He can’t send the jet any sooner, but he has a safe house we can crash at. He’s sending some Stark Industry security personnel to Ian’s hospital room. I told him we might still have a fifth person.” He glanced over at James before going on. “I’ll send the details to Nat over secure channels. I don’t wasn’t to risk this information getting out, but we can’t let Stark go into this blind. We’re gonna have to be real careful with this.”

James didn’t say anything, he just pulled Darcy Lewis closer to him. He had no intention of letting her out of his sight unless she wanted him gone. She was in too much danger to leave unprotected. Thor and Hawkeye had already proved reckless with her safety.

Jane Foster glanced between the two of them before speaking. “Fortunately it doesn’t look like Hydra got anything. You showed up before they could, but I don’t want to leave all this data for them.”

“Stark’s sending someone to gather everything. I’ll stay behind and meet them. You guys should get going.” He handed Jane a paper with directions on it. They said their goodbyes and James followed Jane Foster and Thor to the car. He gently maneuvered Darcy into the car and sat beside her. Her breathing was picking up and she stirred a little as he pulled the belt around her.

Thor looked at him from the mirror. “Darcy will be relieved you have joined us.”

James glanced up at him, but quickly returned to watching his Soulmate. He kept his metal hand wrapped around her wrist to monitor her pulse. Like her breathing, it was slowly speeding up. She would wake soon. That thought both relieved and terrified him. He didn’t know what her reaction to him would be, but he doubted it would be pleasant.

It barely took more than ten minutes to arrive at the Stark Industries safe house. James carefully carried Darcy Lewis inside. She mumbled quietly into his shoulder and her eyelids fluttered. He laid her gently on a plush couch near the door, ignoring Jane Foster and Thor as they eyed him warily. He sat on the floor with his back against the couch, facing the door. A gun sat on his lap, clenched in his flesh hand. His metal hand he curled in a fist by his side. Lewis shouldn’t wake to his touch.

A few moments passed before he heard a slight gasp behind him, followed by more mumbles.

“It’s you.” Her voice was soft and disbelieving as he turned toward her. He couldn’t help but stare at her. She blinked blearily, rubbing her eyes. She seemed surprised when she opened them and he was still there.

He shifted and heard the gears in his arm shift. He glanced down briefly, biting back a curse as the full weight of who he was- what he’d done- once again hit him. His mere presence here was painting an even bigger target on her back. Who was he kidding? There was no way he could keep her safer than a bunch of Superheros. He looked back at her and whispered, “Ты спас мою душу , и я установить гончих ада на пятки”

Her eyes widened, “It _is_ you.” She reached out a shaky hand and touched his cheek. Her touch was so soft he barely dared to breathe. He couldn’t help but close his eyes in bliss. No matter what happened next, he had this memory. He would hold onto it with everything he had. Nowhere in his broken mind could he remember being touched so gently, and he would cherish every second she gave him even if she despised him when she discovered who he really was.

She pulled her hand away and he fought the urge to chase it, already missing the gentle contact. Despite pulling away, Darcy was still looking at him, studying his face. If it were anyone else it would set him on edge, but with Darcy Lewis, he was content to let her study him as long as she wished. Especially when it gave him the chance to study her back. It was clear she was still drowsy from whatever drug they’d used. Her eyes were red and her hair was a mess from when he’d carried her. She was still the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. 

XXXXXX

Darcy blinked quickly and shook her head, trying to clear out the fog in her brain. It didn’t work. She wasn’t afraid though, her Soulmate was clearly protecting her. Either that or this was a very vivid hallucination brought on by... by... Shit! “Jane, where’s Jane? She’s a pocket sized brunet, well, compared to Thor, but the goons were after her!” She frantically waved her arms as she tried to describe her boss lady to the startled man in front of her.

“Jane Foster is here.” 

“Oh. Ok.” She sat back into the ridiculously comfortable couch. “Um, where is here?” She looked around, finally noticing the richly decorated space. Somebody seriously loved red and gold. And had very expensive taste. Were those lamp shades crystal?

“Stark Industries safe house.”

Oh. That explained the color scheme. Though it was much more tasteful than she would have thought Tony Stark capable of. She turned her attention back to... her Soulmate, who she should really ask what he wanted to be called. No way was she just gonna assume ‘Bucky’ was on the table. She opened her mouth, but he suddenly jumped up, crossing to the door with his gun in hand. She is not ashamed to admit she squeaked in surprise.

He slowly opened the door a few inches, peering out.

“Are you gonna ask me for a password, cuz you didn’t give me one before you left.” Clint’s voice was too amused for someone who had a deadly assassin pointing a gun at him. (Then again, Natasha.)

“Clint!” Darcy went to get off the sofa and tripped over her own two feet in the attempt. She squeaked again, but her Soulmate caught her before she went too far. Sighing in relief, she looked up to thank him, but the look on his face made her voice die. Clint had opened the door when James turned away and now James was glaring directly at him. The Winter Soldier’s death glare was terrifying. Thankfully he’d dropped his gun to catch her, but Darcy doubted that was the only weapon he had. 

“Hey, no it’s ok, Clint’s a friend.” She hated how shaky her voice sounded, and hoped he wouldn’t notice. Hopefully her smile was reassuring enough. James looked down at her before he quickly stepped away. He looked back at Clint, but his glare was noticeably less intense.

Clint rubbed the back of his neck. “Glad you’re feeling better Lewis. Ian’s fine, if nobody told you yet. He’s in the hospital, but Stark sent security to watch him. I let Nat know Barnes showed up, so Stark knows he’s got an unexpected guest coming. Once we regroup in the states we’ll figure out a plan of attack. For now, don’t worry about it. Whatever drug they hit you with may be out of your system, but between that and the adrenaline I bet you’re still groggy.”

Darcy nodded, “That and hungry. Where’s Thor?”

“He’s here with Jane. Probably giving you two some privacy. I’ll go see what I can do about food, and check in with them.” He crossed the room and opened another door, revealing Thor standing on the other side. 

“It is good to see you awake Shield Sister.” His whole face lit up at seeing her, and Darcy couldn’t help but smile back. Behind her James shifted on his feet. Thor looked at him, “You judged us remiss in our care for Darcy and Jane. Perhaps you are right. I felt I should keep near in case of trouble, though wished to grant you privacy as Clint assumed.” 

Darcy looked between them, and wondered exactly how much she had missed while she was out. 

“My Lady Jane is resting, though she wished to be informed when you woke. I shall go tell her. The kitchen here is stocked with food, and with Clint’s help I shall prepare a mighty feast. Until then I leave you two to bond. My heart is truly glad that you have found each other at last.” He swept Darcy up in a hug, spinning her around once as she laughed. He set her down with a smile and left the room behind Clint. 

Still chuckling, Darcy headed back to the sofa, and smiled up at James. Though he turned toward her, he didn’t meet her eye, looking down at the carpet instead. Her smile dimmed a bit. An awkward silence stretched for a moment or two, before Darcy remembered her earlier question. “So, um, I know who you are, but, uh, what do you want me to call you?” 

He glanced up quickly before returning to the carpet pattern. “James. My name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

She smiled at him, “Nice to meet you James, I’m Darcy. Darcy Eleanor Lewis. My parents were huge Jane Austen fans.” He didn’t respond. Another round of awkward silence was encroaching, and Darcy had no idea how to prevent it. She knew it was going to be hard when she finally found him, and the grogginess she felt wasn’t helping matters.

“Do you want to sit down? This couch is beyond comfortable, and there’s plenty of room now that I’m not sprawled on it.” She patted the seat next to her encouragingly. He looked at her hand, then slowly walked over and sat on the edge, his back ramrod straight and his gaze returning to the apparently fascinating burgundy carpet. She didn’t want to push him though, so she counted it as a win that he’d sat down. Maybe if she relaxed, he might relax. Figuring it was worth a shot, Darcy leaned back into the couch cushions. She focused on taking slow even breaths for a moment, trying to calm the voice in the back of her head that had been chanting ‘OMG ITS HIM, HE’S HERE!!! OH SHIT WHAT NOW?!’ since she woke up. Actually, she was pretty proud of herself for managing not to squeal and jump up and down in happiness. It was so totally the first thing she was gonna do when she got a moment alone. Or, well, a moment where she wouldn’t freak out the heavily traumatized soldier with sudden movements, cuz being away from him so soon? Yeah, not on her list of things that are even remotely ok. 

“Think you got a raw deal doll, your Soulmate‘s nothing but a shell of a man.” James’ voice broke the silence this time, but he still wouldn’t look at her. She reached out slowly and gently turned his face towards her. He let her pull him, but still wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“You know, I’ve been sharing your dreams since I was five years old.” He finally looked at her, his eyes wide and panicked. She hurried on, “Every dream I had just made me want to find you more, to find you and keep you you safe any way I could.” Her voice shook a little, and she cleared her throat before going on. “I have no idea how to help you , and I’m no match for Hydra, but dammit I’m gonna try. I’ve spent my whole life hoping for the chance to help you. I’m not gonna turn tail ‘cause it’s more difficult than I imagined.”

He was staring at her, shock written all over his face. Darcy hoped she hadn’t fucked up. The idea that she could be making things worse for him was terrifying. She pulled her lip between her teeth, biting it hard in her nervousness. 

James reached out with his flesh and gently tugged her lip out, his brow furrowed in concern. Before she could react, he snatched his hand away as if burned. He moved to get up. Startled, Darcy reached out, latching onto his metal wrist. The choking sound he made in his throat had her letting go just as quickly. “Sorry, I um... Sorry.” She blushed when he just stared at her, looking down at her lap. Despite her worsening fears of monumentally fucking up, she made a conscious effort not to bit her lip. 

James crouched down, bending so he could catch her eye. He looked so lost Darcy had to restrain herself from hugging him, unsure how he’d react. Instead she just gave him a bright, shaky smile. He looked slightly less lost at that, so she figured it was the right thing to do. She drummed up her voice, “I won’t touch your arm again if you don’t want me to. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He blinked at her again, then rasped, “ _Me?_ It doesn’t...” He trailed off, his jaw working like he was trying to speak but couldn’t find the right words. After a moment he huffed in frustration, seemingly giving up. He looked down as he ran his hands through his unkempt hair.

“It doesn’t bother me, if that’s what you’re thinking...” Darcy said tentatively. He looked back up at her. “May I?” She slowly reached her hands out, stopping when they were halfway between them. James exhaled loudly then reached his left hand out, placing it in her hands. He stared as she gently wrapped her hands around it. She started rubbing slow circles on his wrist with her thumb, careful of the plates there.

XXXXXX

“You shared my dreams?” James couldn’t take his eyes off her hands, mesmerized by the sight.

“Yeah, I know it sounds a little crazy but-”

“It’s not crazy.” He couldn’t stand the way her voice shook when she said that, knowing, somehow, too many people had dismissed her. “ I dreamed about you too.” Her hands stilled on his wrist, but he still didn’t look up. “The elves, and the dust. It made me want to protect you. I hadn’t felt like that, hadn’t felt, in a long time. ‘Till I dreamed of you.” He looked up now, and she was crying. He wanted to wipe away her tears, but didn’t know if he should touch her, if she would want his bloody hands on her sweet face. He hadn’t thought when he touched her lip, he’d just reacted. But she was crying, and damned if it didn’t make him want to reach out and comfort her. 

“I didn’t want to be one of your nightmares.” Only his enhanced hearing allowed him to catch her shaky whisper. His chest ached sharply at her words.

“They were almost pleasant in comparison doll, don’t you worry about that.” He tried to smile at her, but didn’t think he got it right. He wished he could remember how to smile that charming grin he’d seen at the museum. The pathetic mockery his smile was now only made her tears come faster.

Darcy lifted one hand to wipe her tears, but she kept the other clutching his metal hand. He reached his flesh hand out to rub circles on the back of it, like she’d been doing. It seemed to help calm her down. 

“I don’t know what to do here. I don’t want to fuck things up, so will you tell me if I do something you don’t like?” Huh, look at that, his Soulmate was just as clueless about this as he was. That should have terrified him, but instead it was reassuring.

“I’m as lost as you, doll.” He huffed a laugh as he spoke, a strange, pleasant feeling bubbling up in his stomach as he looked at her. He liked it, whatever it was. 

She smiled at him. “I guess we’ll just have to figure it out together then.”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that.” James couldn’t look away from her, basking in the strange feeling. A faint tinge of memory said it was happiness, a feeling that used to mean the scent of apple pie and the sound of someone’s laugh. He didn’t chase the memory further. Right now he wanted to bask in happiness’ new meaning, the sound of his Soulmate’s voice, the look in her warm blue eyes, and the satisfaction of knowing she was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking. Finally. The whole purpose of this story was James' recovery and their evolving relationship. It only took 20000 words for me to get them there. *head-desk* Still haven't decided if i'm going to shorten the chapters so that I can get them out quicker- I didn't want to do it while they hadn't met. Still, this chap was supposed to be shorter, but it's only shy a few hundred words of my other chaps. We'll see.  
> The Russian is (according to google translate) You saved my soul and I set the hounds of hell on your heels.   
> Ты спас мою душу , и я установить гончих ада на пятки  
> Ty spas moyu dushu , i ya ustanovit' gonchikh ada na pyatki


	6. Family has Your Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint talks to Darcy and James and offers them his support, Jane shows surprising restraint, Thor cooks a feast, Darcy tries to keep herself together, and James is confused by compassion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The old chapter 6 has been replaced with a newer, shinier version. A longer explanation is in the end notes.

A knock on the door broke the comfortable silence between James and Darcy.

"Dinner’s ready," Clint said as he walked into the room. James stood up in front of her, staying between her and Clint. Darcy gave his hand a gentle squeeze to reassure him. James stayed tense, but he gave her a small smile. 

Darcy went to stand, but Clint held up a hand to stop her. "I actually wanted to talk to you both in private, before Jane and Thor have a chance to swarm you."

James smile disappeared and he tensed up even further, the plates in his arm shifting audibly. Darcy moved her hand to his shoulder, trying not to glare at Clint, who’d better have a good reason for freaking James out.

Clint hurried to continue, "Nothing bad! I promise this is a friendly conversation, no reason to look at me like I whipped out my bow!" When his reassurance did nothing to lessen James glare, he sighed and sat down in the chair across from them. 

James shifted so he was still blocking Darcy. Darcy resisted the urge to say something about it, knowing her complaints would fall on deaf ears. There'd be plenty of time later to work on his overprotective instincts if they were still a problem. 

Clint likely thought the same because he didn't try to defend himself. He just sighed and mumbled to himself, "The fact that I'm alive proves that I used to be better at this. Either that or Natasha spared my sorry ass because we're Soulmates."

Darcy smirked, "Knowing the two of you I'd say she definitely spared you."

She couldn't see him, but she could picture his exaggerated pout as he said,"Hey!" Darcy giggled. James glanced between them, but Darcy thought he seemed less tense at least.

Clint dropped the pout, but kept an easy grin on his face. "You don't look surprised. Guess you figured it out already, huh, brat?"

"Please, it's not exactly hard to figure out, at least not if you two aren’t trying to hide it. Still, I didn't want to ask, figured it was your business and you'd tell me if you wanted me to know." As sensitive as she was about her Soulmate, she made it a point to not ask anyone about theirs.

"Yeah, if we want it secret, it's secret. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about. But before I get into that, I just realized none of us really introduced ourselves to James." He leaned back in his chair as he looked at James, "I mean we just went with the assumption you knew who we were."

"I've read your files. The ones that leaked."

"I figured you would have, but there are things that aren't in our files. Anyway I'm Clint Barton. I'd offer you a hand to shake, but in my experience most people with our lifestyle prefer to keep a distance."

James didn't say anything in response to that.

"Right. Anyway, uh, what do want to be called?"

"James."

"Okay, just wanted to be sure. Nat went by Widow, or Natalia for awhile before she settled on Natasha. Anyway, she's my soulmate and that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Did you read her file?

"It was incomplete but satisfactory. Media coverage also gave some information, if biased. She was my target." The plates in his arm shifted again. Darcy couldn't see his face, but James sounded like he was ready for a fight if Clint took the news the wrong way.

"Yeah, Nat's hard to kill. Still, you managed to get her pretty good. Missed her heart though. From what I hear of the Winter Soldier, that's pretty unusual. Especially when you had a clear shot."

"You think I missed on purpose? That's a lot of faith to have in the person who tried to kill your Soulmate." James sounded incredulous, and Darcy didn't blame him.

"Wouldn't be the first time. Look, if it were anyone else, I'd have an arrow through your eye already. Thing is, the circumstances are a lot more complicated than that and I know it. Natasha... well she's got experience with the whole brainwashed assassin thing. And I have experience with helping a Soulmate deal with having been one. Actually..." He paused for a moment, obviously debating saying something. He rubbed his hands roughly over his face before clasping them together so tightly his knuckles turned white. "After New York I have some experience with the brainwashing thing... Honestly, I'm still not in a great place concerning it. Compartmentalization doesn't always work."

He heaved a deep sigh, his eyes boring into his hands. "If it will help, I'll talk about it, but I don't have the distance from it that Natasha does. Besides her experience is closer to yours. Mine was...monsters and magic." He fell silent, rubbing his thumb across his knuckle.

Clint went quiet for a moment as he collected himself. Darcy was glad they were alone. Thor felt guilty for everything his brother did, as if it were his fault. Clint tried to keep his issues quiet around him, avoiding the stricken look on Thor's face. 

James POV

Barton cleared his throat and finally looked at them, his face grave, " I'm won't lie to you; It's going to be hard as hell. Especially with those Hydra bastards out there. But it's worth it. Damn is it worth it." A small smile lit up the archer's face. "Luckily you're different from me and Nat in one big way- you're not alone. We'll do whatever we can to support you. We've gotten attached to sparky over there." 

His smile disappeared and his face turned grave. "We're going to do what we can to make sure you two get a shot at a decent life. Logistically that might mean keeping James hidden for a little while until the world isn't collectively gunning for him. We'll get his name cleared eventually, but it's going to take some time, and it's better if certain parties don't know where he is while we build our case, especially since we don't have a good idea of who we can trust right now."

"Keeping me secret from your government, even temporarily, is a huge risk." James scowled. "Why would you take it, especially for someone like me? The things I've done... I'm not worth all this." 

"I've already got a few secrets the government would have my head for. What's one more?"

James couldn't help but stare at him in disbelief. Barton had to be out of his mind.

"Not the answer you were expecting? Let me clear things up. First and foremost; whatever you were forced to do by those assholes, doesn't count against you in my book. I know all too well how it feels to have someone go inside your head and force you to do things you'd rather die than do. I know how the guilt lingers and no matter how many times people tell you it wasn't your fault you can't believe them. I know forgiving someone else for their actions when they had their ability to choose stripped away from them is a hell of a lot easier than forgiving yourself for the same damn thing. There is nothing those assholes made you do that I will hold against you. You had no choice."

"Doesn't change what I did." 

"No, and the guilt might never leave you. Maybe it shouldn't, I don't know. But it doesn't change the fact that you're here now. You survived and have the chance to make up for it. That's what I'm doing. That's what Natasha is doing. As much as it sucks, I think the guilt we carry is part of what separates us from them. We didn't even have a choice and we still feel remorse. They have the choice and don't feel a thing. Either way people like us, people who have done things to survive that others could never understand, we have to stick together. The world at large, the powers that be, they'd love to get our heads on a stick. Hell Natasha is stuck in the middle of a bunch of assholes who want to lock her up for saving the world. Why? 'Cuz she made a choice that put everyone at risk in the long term to save our lives in the short term, and in the process pissed off a lot of powerful people. Sometimes we have to make those choices."

"Compromise where you can, but where you can't, Don't." The words drifted across James' memory in a woman's stern voice. 

"Exactly. One of the reasons Shield always kept an eye on me and Tasha, we weren't afraid to tell 'em where they could stick it if they gave us an order we couldn't obey. Would have gotten us killed if it weren't for... For our old handler. He stuck his neck out for us quite a few times. Not the least when I brought Natasha in." Barton scrubbed his hand over his face, "Damn. Starting to wish I had some booze for this conversation. Nat always breaks out the good vodka for this shit."

"I feel like that's a little counterproductive," Darcy said wryly. 

"We're spies. Unhealthy coping mechanisms are part of the job." Clint shrugged. "Anyway, moving past the emotional landmine I'm not ready to face: reason number two I've got your back. Right now the world is kind of ass end up. Some of the most powerful and influential people were outed as hydra, or have significant ties to them. Unfortunately the way the world works, most of them are weaseling their way out of it on technicalities, leaving the lower level members to take the fall. While they are under investigation, it's a sad fact of reality that this isn't going to change much in the long run. Meanwhile The United States of America has a suspiciously low number of high level Hydra agents considering their base of operations was in fucking Washington D.C. My faith in my government is at an all time low, and that's saying something. I'm not about to go handing over a guy who spent 70 years enduring the worst shit humanity has to offer, and especially not when he's the Soulmate of one of my best friends. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure no one gets near you until I know you'll get what you deserve, a pardon for all crimes hydra forced you to commit and a fucking medal."

James looked down at the floor. Darcy squeezed his hand gently "He's right you know." Her voice was soft.

"Not sure how many people would agree." He answered softly.

"More than you'd think." She replied.

"Maybe." He doubted it, but maybe if she believed, if his Soulmate believed it maybe he could start to believe it. Hell, here was a guy whose Soulmate he had almost killed, sitting here willing to betray his country to keep him safe. It almost sounded too good to be true. What if it was? Could they be biding their time until they could turn him over? Or was he just being paranoid? He'd spent too long surrounded by people who claimed to save you while they damned you to hell. He dreaded the moment when this would all come crashing down around his ears. Still, his Soulmate... Darcy hadn't let go of his hand the whole time Barton had talked, trying to give him comfort. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had comforted him. Trying to make sense of everything was making his head swim.

"I know it's going to take me a long time to earn your trust, if I ever do. Sadly this isn't my first time dealing with a recovering brainwashed assassin. You're actually doing a hell of a lot better than Nat did when she first came in. I think the only reason she started to trust me was 'cuz I kept my mouth shut about us being Soulmates, like she asked me to, even though it would have made my life a hell of a lot easier."

"You didn't tell Shield?" Darcy asked, surprise written on all her face, "Did they find out later or..."

"Nope." Clint popped the p with an impish grin, "As far as I know nobody ever found out except... Coulson" His face went dark for a moment before he shook his head and laughed, "Pretty sure even old Fury never knew. He knew we were close, but as far as he's concerned my Soulmate is one Laura Barton."

"Real person, or paper trail?" James asked, "Hard to imagine a paper trail could fool someone who worried Pierce like he did, enough to..." James looked down in shame remembering his last mission.

"Oh Fury Lived!" 

James head shot up in surprise.

"Yeah, the tough old bastard is a lot harder to kill than that. Harder to fool too, but Natasha Romanoff is more than good enough to do it. It does help that Laura is real. Fury has even met her and her kids. They love him, call him grandpa. He can deny all he wants but he loves it."

"Kids?" Darcy was staring at Barton, obviously she hadn't known this about her friend. "Clearly there's more to this story."

Clint chuckled darkly, "Actually it's not that complicated. Right about the time I met Nat, my brother met his Soulmate. Somehow he managed to act decent enough long enough for 'em to get hitched, have a couple kids. Probably helps that he was away a lot for his job. Course it only lasted a couple years before his lifestyle caught up with him. Last thing I ever heard from my brother was an encrypted message telling me about his family. I have no idea if the bastard is even still alive. The kind of shit he was in? I doubt it. It says something that I'm the safer Barton to be married to. Natasha helped make the paper trail and I told Nick I'd found my Soulmate. He was pissed that I'd kept it secret so long, but he helped me get 'em set up safe, off the books. So far as anyone knows I got a wife and 2 kids, and me and Nat are just friends. That's if they know anything at all." He smiled wryly. "The shit Barney was into, if the government ever found out I was covering for his family like that, pretty sure they'd have my head for that shit. Bad enough Loki got his claws into me, shit like that makes it look like I was never loyal. Doesn't matter. Sometimes doing the right thing means setting yourself up for a nasty fall. Laura and her kids don't deserve getting hurt 'cuz of my brother." 

 

Darcy POV

Darcy was speechless. If she tried to say anything, she'd just end up crying Besides, she didn't have the words to tell him what his support and trust meant to her. Maybe if she thought it hard enough she could somehow telepathically make him feel her overwhelming gratitude. If she wasn't worried about James’ reaction she'd tackle hug Clint show him. 

Clint made to stand up but James’ voice stopped him.

"Thank you." The words were quiet, and James wasn't looking at him.

"You're welcome

Slowly, so she wouldn't alarm James, Darcy got up and moved toward Clint. She bent over him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "It means a lot." A hell of an understatement, but the best she could come up with in the moment.

Clint glanced at her, then looked at James. "I'm going to hug her. I promise I'm not going to hurt her." James tensed for a moment, but relaxed and nodded. Clint grinned at him before standing and wrapping Darcy in a gentle hug.

They parted and Clint cleared his throat, "I don't know about you, but I'm starving, I'm gonna go get some food. I wouldn't keep Jane waiting too much longer if I were you guys, she's eager to make sure Darcy is doing okay." He slipped out the door quietly.

Darcy turned back to James. "Are you hungry? We don't have to eat with everyone, I could grab us a plate or something..."

James stood up, walking past her toward the door, "Your friends are worried, and you're hungry. I... I want to stay near you." He angled his body towards her, but couldn't face her fully, his voice strained as he admitted he wanted something. 

"I want to stick by you too. Honestly I'm still wrapping my head around you actually being here." Darcy reached for his hand, stopping before she touched it, letting him choose. He reached out the last bit and took her hand, holding it gently, the tiniest smile on his face. Darcy couldn't keep the massive smile off her face as a fresh wave of excitement hit her. (HE'S HERE! HE'S REALLY HERE!!!)

Of course that was the moment her stomach let out a ferocious growl. The corner of James' mouth twitched slightly higher as she blushed. "Uh, so, food?" she squeaked.

James smile grew as he opened the door cautiously. 

Jane's teasing voice came through the partially open door, "If you're all done hogging my intern I'd like to make sure she's okay,"

James opened the door wide enough for Darcy to shoot through. Her cry of "Janey Jane," was muffled by the astrophysicist's shoulder as she gave her a bear hug.

"Oh my god Darcy, I was so worried, when you went down I didn't know what to do. I'm so glad you're okay, I'm so glad he was there to save you, I'm so sorry I didn't try to help you, I-"

"Jane!" Darcy pulled back and grabbed Jane's head in her hands, forcing her to look her in the eye. "I'm glad you ran, I don't even want to think about what would have happened to you. Or what almost happened to me. But nothing happened, so we don't have to think about it. I'm fine, you're fine, and I met my Soulmate. This day turned out way more awesome than it could have." She gently shook Jane's head. "No guilt trips, capiche?"

Jane nodded, giggling slightly.

"Ok, food, seriously, I'm so hungry I could eat a bilgesnipe!"

"Nay Lady Darcy, your hunger would need be far greater to consume such a repulsive creature." Thor's smiling face poked out from what had to be the kitchen, "Fortunately we have found food such will satisfy far better. The Man-of-Iron keeps his stores well stocked.

"Stop Yapping and get in here," Clint's voice came from inside the kitchen. "The stupid Asgardian won't let me eat until the 'Guests of Honor' arrive.

Darcy and Jane giggled at the boys, "C'mon let's go before Clint really starts whining," Darcy rolled her eyes and reached for James again, grinning as he grabbed her hand and followed her.

Inside the kitchen the table was loaded down with a feast. Thor had whipped up a massive helping Chicken Alfredo as well as spaghetti with meatballs. Anna had showed him how to make the dish and it looked like he'd put her lessons to good use. Salad, several types of roasted and steamed vegetables, and fresh bread completed the table. 

"On Asgard 'tis tradition to honor the meeting of Soulmates with a grand feast. Though the day has been long and the circumstances are still fraught, I believe we may take respite in such tradition."

"Is that why you're being more Shakespeare than normal?" Darcy asked as Jane walked behind her to take her seat.

Thor chuckled, "Aye, such occasions call for a touch more formality. Soul Feasts and Weddings are the only such occasions I find such heavy handed formality bearable." He winked at her, "Far more so than lengthy meetings with foreign dignitaries."

"I can only imagine how dry those get. Listening to my professors drone on was bad enough." She turned to James, "Political Science student, pretty sure I've learned more since I left school to hang out with these guys than I did sitting in class. They're much more interesting."

"Political Science?" She shouldn't find the confused look on his face so adorable, but she did.

"Yeah, after dinner I'll tell you about it. Probably sounds more interesting than it is" She glanced around the table, and realized Clint had left James the seat with the best view and placed himself and Thor right in his line of site. She'd have to thank him later, Clint had to feel vulnerable with his back towards the door like it was.

Thor remained standing as they sat down. "A traditional Soul Feast would begin with a blessing upon the new Mates, but little about this is traditional. Still, I would like to bestow my Blessing upon you both ." He turned to James who eyed him warily."You may not know of me beyond what little I have revealed to Shield. I am Thor. And though I relinquished my right to the throne I remain a Prince of Asgard. My word may mean little to you with all you have suffered at the hands of evil men; still I will give it to you. I pledge myself to your protection, as I have pledged myself to the protection of your Soulmate, my Shield-Sister Darcy Lewis. On my honor I will stand beside you as a Shield-Brother. You have my word; may the Mighty Mjolnir forsake me should I break it."

Judging by the look on James face, he was overwhelmed by Thor's sincere words. "He has that effect on people," she whispered, "Takes awhile to get used to it."

Thor's voice was solemn as he continued, "Upon this meeting of Souls I, Thor, bestow upon Darcy Lewis and James Barnes the blessings of Asgard. May your partnership, whatever form it may take, bring you joy and solace throughout your lives. What fate hath wrought together may no foe tear asunder." Thor smiled, "Now let us celebrate!" 

"Finally! Fooood," Clint groaned as they began dishing out their food. 

James hesitated briefly, but a "Dig in, it's delicious," from Darcy was all he needed before he filled his plate. They ate in an awkward silence that everyone seemed too exhausted and hungry to break. 

Halfway through the delicious food, Darcy felt like she could barely keep her eyes open. Now that she wasn't hungry the day was catching up to her. Not only was she tired from the drugs, she felt drained. Cycling through intense emotions all day without a moment to catch her breath and process was wearing on her. Part of her just wanted to curl up with Jane and watch Disney, but that wasn't an option. The other part of her wanted to curl around James and never let go, but she didn't think he needed clingy right now. Of course she really didn't know what he needed or wanted. She should probably ask him. Probably. Discussing what they wanted and needed from each other most likely wouldn't trigger him, he seemed to be doing alright with all the conversations they were having, but what if he was just going with it? Oh God what if they were throwing too much at him and and

Cool metal covered her hand. "You alright, кукла?"

"Yeah, just tired, which makes me overthink things. The whole not knowing what to do thing? Really freaking me out right now 'cuz I'm at the point where I'm too tired to make good decisions. Like I think the last time I was this tired I started crying 'cuz I hadn't gotten to wear my pretty new rain-boots. Thor actually started a small storm so I could stomp around in them. I am not qualified to make adult decisions when I am this tired! Also I babble. Oh god someone stop me," She buried her beet red face in one hand. 

The whole table was laughing at her, including James, though his laughter was far quieter. Darcy was well aware how cliche it was to think it was the most amazing sound she'd ever heard, but hey she's exhausted so sue her.

"Whatever you're overthinking can wait till morning. We'll figure it out, together right?

"Yeah, together," Darcy couldn't stop smiling at the thought.

After a moment of them sappily looking at each other, Clint cleared his throat awkwardly, "As cute as you two are, I'm thinking maybe Darcy should get a shower and get to bed, before she falls asleep in her food. Or starts babbling really embarrassing stories that _I_ want to tell."

Darcy stuck her tongue out at Clint, who stuck his tongue out and went cross eyed, because he was a 5 year old.

Jane rolled her eyes at the two of them, "The man-child is right, the woman-child needs to go to bed before things devolve. Any minute the hysterical giggling will start and it just goes downhill from there."

Darcy stood up and James followed suit."Yeah, and I wanna" Her words were garbled by her yawn so she tried again, "I wanna shower off the alley dirt before I go to bed." Honestly she wasn't that dirty, but a shower would calm her nerves from- nope still not ready to think about it. "Point me to the shower Janey-Jane."

"Which one? I think Stark forgot this was a safe house not a vacation home. Pretty much all the rooms come with an en-suite bathroom. All five rooms. Seriously. I knew Tony Stark was rich and excessive, but this place is ridiculous." Jane stood up and started to leave the room. Darcy and James followed her down the short hall before they stopped at a door. "We dropped your stuff in one of the back rooms. It's the only one that doesn't have a window but Clint thought James would feel more comfortable without one." She looked over at James, "Clint said that's what you want to be called, let me know if that changes."

He nodded then entered the room, holding his hand up to make Darcy wait. She shared a puzzled look with Jane. A few moments later James came back. "Secure." 

"O-Kay, Thank you." Was this gonna be a thing, or is it just for now? Things that will wait till later. Darcy entered the room, digging out sweats and a t-shirt from the bag they'd grabbed her. She glanced at James. He didn't stink, but she could tell he'd been using sink baths for awhile, and he deserved a long hot shower. "Um... Do you want to go first or should I?" 

"You first. I'll stand guard." He positioned himself by the bathroom door, off to the side so he couldn't see in the open door. Under the circumstances she didn't think she'd be able to convince him it wasn't necessary, so she resisted the urge to sigh and considered herself lucky he wasn't paranoid enough to try to come in with her. Not that he didn't have every reason to be and yeah she's gonna stop thinking before she gets into that mess tonight. 

Darcy walked into the massive bathroom and stared in shock. Of course Tony Stark had a fucking Jacuzzi in his safe house. Fucking shit-balls this place is nuts. Part of her wanted to climb in and never get out. Unfortunately she was so tired she'd probably fall asleep. This day had been long enough without adding near drowning. With a sigh, she quickly undressed and hopped in the massive shower stall. She groaned in annoyance when she saw how many fancy products lined the shelf. Digging around the extra stuff (hair dye? Really Stark?) she fished out shampoo, conditioner, and body wash that was probably more expensive than her weekly grocery bill.

It only took her a few minutes to wash up, and she resisted the temptation to stand there longer. She was tired and sore and the water felt soooo good. But the bed would probably feel better, so she forced herself to get out.

James was standing right where she left him. He gave her a tired smile as she came out. 

She smiled back, "Bathroom's free." 

He looked at her for a moment before stalking the room again. Finally he gave a reluctant nod and entered the bathroom silently.

Darcy sat on the edge of the massive bed and listened to the water splash as James started the shower. She had no idea how long he'd be. God knows he deserved to take a super long soak in Stark's swanky Jacuzzi, but he didn't seem comfortable enough to leave her alone for long. Not that she blamed him considering-

A soft knock on the bedroom door frame made her look up. Jane crossed the room quietly and wrapped Darcy into a warm hug. They gripped each other tight and Darcy felt herself starting to shake. Reality was starting to set in and she wasn't ready to face how close Hydra had gotten to- to Jane. Forcing herself to focus on Jane's hand running through her hair, Darcy calmed her breathing. The last thing they needed was her having a full blown panic attack and freaking out James.

"I was so scared." Jane whispered

"Me too."

Jane glanced at the cracked door to the bathroom. "So, Soulmate... How are you doing with that?"

Darcy latched onto the change of subject. "Honestly, kinda freaking out. Like super glad he's here and hey, perfect timing, but Oh God What Now!? I have no idea how he's coping, and he seems alright now, but god, 70 Years Jane! How do I? Where do I even _start_ to help him with that?" Hot tears spilled over her cheeks and she pulled back to brush them away angrily. " Like honestly, what was the universe thinking? I'm so out of my depth and all I've wanted for like ever was to find a way to help him but god Jane what can _I_ do?"

Jane reached up and put her hands on Darcy's cheeks. "Listen here you. First of all you are amazing and the universe probably paired you because out of everyone I know you've got the most tenacious love that latches on and doesn't give up ever. I mean you followed a broken hearted astrophysicist around the world, befriended two assassins and a Norse god AND helped keep us all going when the world was falling down around us. If anyone can help him recover from the horrific shit he's been through, it's you Darcy 'Huge Heart' Lewis. Besides, you won't be in this alone, we're all here to support you however we can. You and James, we'll figure this shit out, okay?"

"Okay." Darcy sniffled once but managed a small smile, " Thanks I needed to hear that. You guys are so awesome, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Jane tapped their foreheads together lightly, "You don't have to find out. We all need some sense knocked into us from time to time. I'm just glad it was my turn."

A noise from the bathroom made them both look at the door. Jane turned back to Darcy and said, "Get some sleep. It's been a hell of a day. Everything will feel better in the morning." She gave Darcy one last squeeze before she slipped quietly out the door.

Darcy climbed into the plush bed, sighing in relief as she finally sat down. She fought to keep her eyes open even as she let out a jaw cracking yawn. James would be out any minute, and she wanted to be awake. She should be awake...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, not entirely happy with it, but it is waaay better then the short and kinda crappy chapter 6 that was. I'm hoping that if I edit the chapter instead of deleting and replacing I'll keep the lovely comments. There's some of it left in the first part, but I really fleshed it out a lot and lets face it, its been so long I doubt anyone actually remembers it. I don't know how often I'll update this but I'm not abandoning it and I will try to keep it from being longer than a year between updates. I did regroup enough that I know sorta where this beast is going, but its not real firm and lots of real life shit has been getting in the way. I'm going to change two things in previous chapters cuz they wrote me into a corner. 
> 
> 1: Natasha did not tell Darcy about her past. All Darcy knows is that Natasha knew him from somewhere. I'm going to delete the short paragraph that says she did.
> 
> 2: Frigga lives. This is gonna go widely AU anyway so I might as well.
> 
> I don't like making changes like this but if it makes it easier to write the rest of it I will. Hey at least I'm not deciding to go with the plot bunny where Darcy was adopted and Tony Stark is her real dad. Much as I love Darcy Stark I'm not gonna revamp this thing so badly. I am really sorry that it's taken me so long to post something, but like I said, real life has been getting in the way. Hopefully I'll be better at it, but I make no promises. For now updates will be really sporadic, but I'm going to try to update at least once a year.
> 
> кукла-Russian for Doll according to google translate

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. I'll post additional warnings, characters, and relationships as I post new chapters. Let me know if I should tag something I didn't.


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